Nerian

What if living is too painful to make it worth it?

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On ‎2‎/‎12‎/‎2018 at 10:10 AM, Jon Letendre said:

I’m sure it is hard to believe. When in the pitch dark it is hard to believe anything.

None of us know how to fix it, no one you’ve casually met knows, you’re not going to just bump into an electrician, you have to look them up and call them.

I doubt that the people living in primitive conditions commit suicide in great numbers and the people living in North Korean totalitarian conditions probably don’t commit suicide. Why is that? Could it be that their lives are worth more than their “sorry” conditions? The “spark” that is you, is precious. Strive to get out of the bad environment. I am not suggesting anyone take up a dangerous sport, but many who do climb mountains or sky dive, say afterwards, “I never felt so alive.”

“You only live twice. Once when you are born and once when you look death in the face.” Ian Fleming said that or was it James Bond? Join the military?   

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Perhaps I haven't read enough of the thread, but I don't have a clear idea of the problem. "How can life be worth living?" cannot even begin to be answered with respect to a given person's life without an idea of what it is which is making someone feel that life is not worth living. Lives have details. If a person were to tell me, "No no, I have all the regular components that fulfill other people, loving spouse or boy/girlfriend, productive and challenging job that exercises my interests and faculties, living in a good neighborhood, I enjoy food and movies and music, no mental or physical affliction, the cat is well-behaved and the toilet is not overflowing, etc.; but I just have this feeling that life cannot be worth living, and I don't even see how there can even be any possibility of its ever being worth the effort involved"--I'd feel either that some crucial information were being omitted or that I were being sold a bill of goods. This, for example, seems suspect to me: "I can't think of any future state I want to achieve. It's all so empty. Why choose to live? I'm over it." What if one attained a state of not feeling empty? Would that also be "so empty"? What if one had a glimpse that a better feeling about life is possible?

Why is life too painful, or nothing _but_ pain? What are we talking about? A dead end job that makes one feel trapped? Inability to get a date or companionship? Having lost a loved one in a tragic accident? Chronic illness? Disfigurement? Paraplegia? Addiction? Abuse? Being 72 years old and stuck in prison for the next 20 years? Being stuck in Canada? What? Many other relevant questions would arise as the story begins to be told. But even if we knew something of the background, the best that persons of good will could do in a thread like this is suggest a few possibilities for pursuing a remedy. I agree with the commenter who said that a person suffering such a persistent feeling of hopelessness should seek professional help. Or, if professional help is not feasible for whatever reason, should at least talk in person to someone sensible in a candid way about the problems. 

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Starbuckle: Not one commenter, but most, have counseled professional help to Nerian. It's known a general mark of depression is that one feels drained of the mental and physical energy, and has little remaining self-preservation, to make even the slightest step to help oneself. Medical intervention can halt this downward spiral, enough for the sufferer to begin to recognize that -maybe, could be- life and living do have more to offer. There's also a strong cognitive/evaluative component, since undeniably one has made a subjective and wholly skeptical value judgment about existence/one's existence. (Whatever the specifics about his situation which I gather is nothing as physical and extreme as your conjectures - alone, worth his considering - I think these are the common elements to everyone in Nerian's position ). Talking to someone must be beneficial to alleviate a sense of aloneness.

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