Wonderful laugh from Ciro

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

I normally do not post or resend e-mails sent to me out of respect for privacy. However some just beg to be shared. Ciro sent me this yesterday and I am still laughing today.

Hey! Michael,

Good to see you starting your own business.

Finally in your life you have found a great woman, who will not use your given trust to screw you from behind as other women had done to you in the past.

I admire your qualities, and the sensibility you have to go deep down people's hearts and been able to see what they have waited a life long for someone to see it.

You are, the only person I met in my entire life , beside my love Francesca, who was able to understand me as much as you do.

Michael , I think we can enjoy pissing together looking at our each other penis and not be jealous at whoever between us has got the bigger one.

A bigger one I said, not a littler one. lololololololol

Ciao Ciro.

[SSerravillo]

Must be some kind of male bonding thing.

There are times when I'm really glad I'm a woman. This is definitely one of those times.

Edit: Although, I suppose it's not completely unheard of for women to compare secondary sex characteristics. Not gonna elaborate...

;o)

[Guest]

Ahh yes the torture of standing alongside another man at a urinal...

Summer, you never elaborate and always leave us hanging....

(Note from Administrator: John Newnham asked to be removed from the member list before the forum was transferred to a new program, thus his member name was lost.)

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

Right before I came back to the USA (end of 2004), there was a TV program down there that was sort of like Candid Camera, except the practical jokes were much more tasteless and "heavy." Sometimes they were hilarious, though.

In one setup, they would film an unsuspecting man from the back standing in front of a urinal doing his business. Then the actor would walk in and take the urinal beside him. Not only would he look over at the man, he would start gawking in an extremely obvious manner. Then he would burst out laughing and say something like, "You know, whenever I see something like that, I get more grateful for what I have." And then he would really crack up...

Brazilians are not violent at all, but this got to them at a really basic level and they would get extremely pissed off and start tearing into the actor, pushing him and hitting him and kicking him while he would call out to the production crew for help.

I know, I know. It's a Latin thing. But Lord, was it funny.

Michael

[Roger Bissell]

Michael, that's pretty outrageous, the actor at the urinal, gawking and lording it over the guy next to him. Amazing they would put that on TV :!:

I have a couple of similar jokes, one I heard, the other my own elaboration on the first. They both involve racial stereotypes.

1. (Richard Pryor told this on a comedy album back in the 70s) These two black guys were walking home late at night, and they had to take a leak, so they stopped on a bridge and did it, and the one black guy said, "Man, that water's cold," and the other black guy said, "Yeah, and it's deep, too!"

2. (my elaboration) These two black guys and a white guy were walking home late at night, and they had to take a leak, so they stopped on a bridge and did it, and the one black guy said, "Man, that water's cold," and the other black guy said, "Yeah, and it's deep, too!" and the white guy said, "Huh? What are you guys talking about?"

Heh-heh. That about says it all, stereotype-wise. //;-))

REB

[SSerravillo]

You callin' me a tease, John??

;o)

[Guest]

Only with your jokes!

LOLOL

(Note from Administrator: John Newnham asked to be removed from the member list before the forum was transferred to a new program, thus his member name was lost.)

[SSerravillo]

Coincidentally, I do believe that I was recently accused of being a tease, even if the accusation was veiled and indirect.

It's so odd (to me) that if a woman engages her sense of humor when conversing with a man, it's often seen as flirting (whether it is or not). And when a woman does flirt, either intentionally or not, she's tagged a tease if she then declines any advances the man might make.

When did harmless flirting become an anathema?

Discussion for a different forum/thread, I guess...

Summer

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

Summer,

The problem ain't you. It's a culture thing. Sometimes it gets tedious, but that's society. Feel free to get a bit bawdy here if you like, though, and just enjoy the laugh. I know I do.

btw - Maybe if you stopped using urinals... That might help some...

Michael

[SSerravillo]

"btw - Maybe if you stopped using urinals... That might help some... "

Hmm... I have a funny story about that as well....

;o)

SmS

[Ciro]

Michael, I told you never to tell others about this!

Next time, I swear, I am going to pee on your shoe. lolololol

dulcis in fundo! lol

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

Ciro,

It just occurred to me that I started this thread by publishing one of your e-mails to me without your permission. I deeply regret that for the following reasons:

1. My comments were about 13,000 words too short.

2. I did not denounce you for the immoral and two-faced weenie peeker that you are.

3. I did not make it clear that I published your amazingly clear evidence of duplicity knowing that I was probably ending our friendship, but I did so with a clear conscious because I was serving a Higher Cause (i.e., the moral manner of arriving at a longer weenie).

4. Since you did not ask for secrecy, and I was probably breaking the law, I decided to go ahead and bring this issue forward for public discussion.

5. In your statement, "Finally in your life you have found a great woman, who will not use your given trust to screw you from behind as other women had done to you in the past," it is clear to me that the phrase "screw you from behind" is veiled gay-bashing, with the insinuation that I am a homophobe.

6. Your veiled campaign against ALL OF MY EXES is completely inexcusable and hopelessly immoral. I am aware that you did not use the word "all" in the phrase, "as other women," however any dummy can understand the context. Your one-man whispering defamation of my exes is not borne out by the evidence because I haven't talked to them in years.

7. I'm going to migrate to ARI. I hear that, despite the bombast, they have smaller weenies than other Objectivists so I don't have to put up with your kind of e-mails about my weenie size.

From all this evidence, I must conclude that you are a profoundly immoral person without any possibility of redemption. I see in your future weenie peeking and more weenie peeking without end.

Let others decide what to do with you. I will tolerate your weenie-peeking no more! As a wiser person than I wrote:

Ultimately, all that I ask is that you consider the evidence I've presented, investigate the facts for yourself, and then act accordingly.

Michael

[JennaW]

MSK--- check your premises-- er, your SHOES. ;)

[Ciro]

Ultimately, all that I ask is that you consider the evidence I've presented, investigate the facts for yourself, and then act accordingly.

For God sake, Michael, I thought you were a friend.

You know that I never wrote any of those posts.

Now I understand why you told me to repost those e-mails you

sent me with misspelled words and grammar errors so they would look more like mine.

I will never forgive you for this!

You are a devil!

[Philip Coates]

Well Roger stole my joke a few posts back.

Which I told him.

Not only that I have to morally condemn him because he willfully forgot to mention that the story was a true one and I had to be taken to the emergency room to be cured of frostbite..and denting.

[Kat]

That sounds very painful and I hope you feel better soon.

Kat

[Philip Coates]

Kat, I'm trying to use a lot of heat and friction. The ball peen hammer option was rejected.

[Rich Engle]

This thread has some excellent core elements... penises, urinals, ball-peen hammers...MSK J'Accusin' Ciro and playing kissie-poo with the ARI.

MSK and Ciro, I'm afraid you have broken the prime directive of restroom protocol- EYES FORWARD. If you're in some of the nicer restaurants, there is an attempt to reinforce this in the form of posting advertisments, sports pages, and so on right there. That is where your eyes are supposed to be (when you're not navigating).

Your behavior is unfortunate, and, of course, sub-optimal.

rde

Bad machines have to go back to the factory.

[Ciro]

Rich,this might be the right solution

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

There's even a book about these things:

Introduction to Objectivist Pissology.

(OK... I'm stopping...)

Michael

[Rich Engle]

Do you two need to get a room, or something?

I think Ciro should write something called The Romantic Manipesto

Elsewhere in the knuckleheads in the news area, I see that OL is being talked about- how we are getting so much mileage out of the Sciabarra Dossier. All this from a guy that seems to derive an odd pleasure from employing the word "vomit" in his masterworks. Perhaps too long over at vomitonline.com? I think our ever stalwart Phil got the V-word, and also was advised his writing shines best when he's tossed back a few. Ah, the noble vision of man- as he should be.

rde

[Ciro]

I think I need to explain about having a bigger one...

Growing up as child in Italy, among friends, we had a saying that goes like this: If you do not pee in company of a friend, you must be ether a trader, or a spy. Thus, considering Michael a friend, and a person who lived in Brazil for so many years, I think he understood what I meant.

This is the story of the bigger one: When I was 20, my friends and I, decided one day to go to Sperlonga, a famous beach, south of Rome. This was during the summer time. Therefore, after couple of hours of traveling, we arrived in Sperlonga. Sperlonga is a small village situated on top of a mountain, to access to the beach below, you need to descend about two millions steps.

We packed our stuff and started to descend down to the beach. When we arrived down, I could not believe my eyes, there were naked beautiful girls everywhere, my friend and I, were shocked, we did not know that Sperlonga beach, was a nudist beach.

After we regained consciousness, we decided to go by the water and cool our self off a little. We where the only ones out of all the people on the beach wearing a bathing suit:<<It looks strange, I told my friends, to wear our bathing suit on a nudist beach… people think that we are some kind of minoratis or something:>> In couple of minutes, we were all naked, playing, laughing, and making funny comments about our personal equipment. We had noticed that the majority of naked men where not joking at all about their personal equipment, daymnn, I think the sons of bitches where there just to showing off their well-kept shining cannons. One friend among us, who was the best equipped to compete with those men, lead the way so we could all enjoy the panorama of the beautiful girls. It was the only time that I was not jealous of having a friend with a bigger… than mine.

I hope this explains where my idea of the bigger one came from, and my email to Michael.

[Jonathan]

Rich wrote,

"All this from a guy that seems to derive an odd pleasure from employing the word 'vomit' in his masterworks. Perhaps too long over at vomitonline.com? I think our ever stalwart Phil got the V-word, and also was advised his writing shines best when he's tossed back a few. Ah, the noble vision of man- as he should be."

I listen to a wide variety of music on Sirius, and I can't help but think of Objectivists while comparing the content on stations such as "Hard Attack" and "Buzzsaw" with that on "Classical Voices" and "Symphony Hall." I find myself asking, "Who in the Objectivist movement does this music remind me of? Does Slipknot, Tool and Cannibal Corpse sound like Chris Sciabarra's vision of what life 'ought to be,' or does it sound more like the style and content of the typical juvenile rant from Perigo or Hsieh? Is the spirit of Rachmaninoff or Lanza found on OL, or is it reflected in the infantile temper tantrums and vulgarity of SOLOP?"

(It's amusing that petulant rage is a SOLOP virtue -- perhaps the SOLOP Supreme Virtue -- yet Perigo and his fellow SOLOPsists preach the view that people should reach for "something better than rage, pain, anger and hurt" in music. Shouldn't angry music which is expressed in loud, vulgar styles be the SOLOP ideal?)

J

[Rich Engle]

Ciro- I was just funnin' with you... great story too!

Jonathan-

Yup, something else that is with the music. I've been in the music business 35 years or so, and let me tell you- it's real easy to spot someone that doesn't know what the eff they are talking about. When Linz talks about rock music, it's incredibly uninformed. Mario Lanza is fine and all that, but music is BIG. He has not learned enough how to listen. To him there probably isn't much difference between Slip Knot and, say, Dream Theatre. But that doesn't stop him from laying the rip on things. Suprising? I think not.

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

Well, they sure take weenie-peeking seriously in Brazil. It takes a real macho down there to weenie-peek the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way.

(btw - Banter aside, if anybody wishes to see what I think of Ciro when he's not weenie-peeking, you can read it here (under "Description").

Michael