Guyau

Philosophers' Jokes

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High time there was a place to collect these. No doubt one big composer of such jokes was Ayn Rand.

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“While Bolzano’s doctrines, in contrast to those of Hegel and Fichte, for instance, did not benefit from a wide diffusion, he had no reason to be jealous of them.”

—Sandra Lapointe, Bolzano’s Theoretical Philosophy (2011)

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“Beasts’ thought sequences are just like those of simple empirics who maintain that what has happened once will happen again in a case which is similar in the respects that they are impressed by, although that does not enable them to judge whether the same reasons are at work. That is what makes it so easy for men to ensnare beasts, and so easy for simple empirics to make mistakes.”

—Leibniz, New Essays on Human Understanding

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This is not a philosophy joke exactly, but rather an anecdote told by Herbert Spencer in An Autobiography.

[T]here appeared an advertisement of “Marcus Ward’s Christmas Wall Decorations.” To guide purchasers in ordering those which would fit spaces on their walls, Messrs. Ward & Co. had specified after each text the length of the scroll occupied by it. This memorandum of length gave to more than one of them some oddity of appearance; but finally there came this:— “ ‘Unto You is Born a Saviour.’ About 6 feet long.”

Ghs

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You philosophers, leave the jokes to me.

--Brant

or take it to Vegas

(just kidding [keep trying (I see hope)]))))))))[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]])))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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This is not a philosophy joke exactly, but rather an anecdote told by Herbert Spencer in An Autobiography.

[T]here appeared an advertisement of “Marcus Ward’s Christmas Wall Decorations.” To guide purchasers in ordering those which would fit spaces on their walls, Messrs. Ward & Co. had specified after each text the length of the scroll occupied by it. This memorandum of length gave to more than one of them some oddity of appearance; but finally there came this:— “ ‘Unto You is Born a Saviour.’ About 6 feet long.”

Ghs

Yeah however could he hit the outside jumper!

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The following is not exactly a joke, I suppose, but it brought me a chuckle. It is from Bernard Bolzano* in his 1837 Theory of Science (Wissenschaftslehre), in his discussion of various definitions of logic. He writes as follows concerning one of his contemporaries:

For Dr. Umbreit . . ., logic is “the Idea of thought that develops and is elaborated in the moments of thought.” Should we really call playing with words like this a definition? And is there any point in pronouncing a serious judgement on such efforts?

Translation of P. Rusnock and R. George (2014).

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Fictional - Twelve Angry Men

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H.W.B. Joseph remarked of his Oxford colleague H.A.Prichard:

“His best memorial, unlike that of many other teachers, perhaps consists in the books that his pupils refrained from writing.”

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Rene Descartes once was offered a drink which he declined. He said "I think not" and he immediately ceased to exist.

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Here are a couple of cute jokes about philosophy from Stephen Hicks's site (well, the first is a bit of a groaner :smile: ):

A few philosophy jokes

A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

The Buddhist pays the vendor and asks for change. The vendor says, "Change comes from within."

. . .

Relativity of time:
A snail is mugged by two turtles. When the police asked him what happened, he said, "I don’t know, it all happened so fast."


This post referenced another page on Stephen's site called:

Philosophicalish Humor

Instead of an article, though, there are a bunch of links. I haven't read through them yet.

On Facebook, Stephen posted the first link above and a guy named Glenn R. Tankersley contributed the following two jokes. They're also cute, although the first about Descartes is a variation of the one Bob posted above:

Descartes takes his date, Jeanne, to a posh restaurant for her birthday.
The sommelier hands them the wine list, and Jeanne asks to order the most expensive bottle on the list.
"I think not!" exclaims an indignant Descartes, and *POOF* he disappears.

. . .

Question: What do you get when you cross a postmodernist with a mafia boss?
Answer: An offer you can't understand.


:smile:

After I dig into the links in "Philosophicalish Humor" and possibly find more jokes that I like, or if any more appear elsewhere, I will be sure to post them.

Michael

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“Were not the thought so confoundedly smart,

one might be tempted to call it absurd.”

From Schiller’s Wallenstein, as quoted by Schopenhauer, On the Fourfold Root of the Principle of Sufficient Reason (1813), in the course of his demolition of Descartes’ absurd ontological argument.

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libertarian joke

How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?

None, if the bulb needed changing the market would have done it by now

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libertarian joke

How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?

None, if the bulb needed changing the market would have done it by now

Good one...had not heard that...

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Said by Hospers to be the funniest thing Rand ever heard:

Behaviorist comes across a colleague on campus and says "You're fine. How am I?"

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Said by Hospers to be the funniest thing Rand ever heard:

Behaviorist comes across a colleague on campus and says "You're fine. How am I?"

Damn now we are on a roll!

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