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Tee Shirt Rant

I belong to a Facebook copywriting group called The Cult of Copy run by a very good copywriter, Colin Theriot. That group is one of the gems of Facebook. Just read everything on it and you will not need to learn anything else about marketing copy.

But once in a while, they discuss something cute, not just shop. For example, they mentioned the following marketing campaign someone did at Teespring. It is hilarious.

Teespring is a company where you can crowdfund custom tee shirt sales. Basically, you come up with a design and set a goal. If your goal is reached by the cutoff date, Teespring will fulfill the orders and collect payment for you. If not, the project will be canceled.

Here is a project a person set for 25 tee shirts. As of this post, he has sold 64. And he is getting a lot of free publicity (like here, too :) ). The bitch of it is Teespring doesn't even have an affiliate program. I'm posting this because it is funny and that's it. :)

It is called Fuck You Todd and Jessica! Apparently the campaign will run only until June 14 or so.

front.jpg

Here's what happens. Basically, a customer goes to this site, reads the copy (the story--which seems to be the real value for most people) and ends up buying this tee shirt as a souvenir. Imagine reading something like this at a normal department store like Macy's. That atmosphere is kind of like Teespring's public image.

Here is the copy:

FUCK YOU JESSICA! YOU GIRAFFE FACED BITCH. I WAS NOTHING BUT GOOD TO YOU. I WAS THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU NEEDED ME. AND HOW DO YOU REPAY ME? BY DUMPING ME FOR MY BEST FRIEND. YOU NOW MEAN NOTHING TO ME YOU SYPHILITIC CUNT DONKEY. NEVER TRAVEL TO AFRICA BECAUSE POACHERS MIGHT MISTAKE YOU FOR A RHINO YOU FAT POT BELLIED HERMAPHRODITE. PEOPLE USED TO THINK I WAS A BIG FOOT HUNTER WHEN THEY SAW ME WITH YOU. I HOPE YOU AND YOUR MURKY SWAMP VAGINA END UP ALONE. IT'S CALLED VAGISIL YOU CHERUBIC CONCUBINE TWAT LORD.

AS FOR YOU TODD, YOU ARE A BITCH OF THE HIGHEST ORDER. YOU SMELL LIKE A MUSTY 6TH GRADER AFTER GYM CLASS WHO TRIED TO USE AXE TO COVER UP THE SMELL. YOUR BREATH SMELLS LIKE AGED COW TURDS. IF YOU WERE ON FIRE AND I HAD A BUCKET OF WATER, I WOULD LET MY DOG DRINK FROM THE BUCKET FIRST, AND THEN PUT YOU OUT WITH WHATEVER WAS LEFT. YOUR TEETH ARE SO FUCKED UP THAT YOU COULD HAVE DUAL CITIZENSHIP IN ENGLAND. YOUR TEETH LOOK LIKE THEY ARE WRITING A NOVEL IN WINGDINGS.

I HOPE YOU TWO HAVE KIDS. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE FUGLY OFFSPRING THAT SWAMP PUSSY AND AXE GOD WOULD PRODUCE. YOUR KIDS WILL PROBABLY HAVE THE LOW SLOPING FOREHEADS MOST COMMONLY ASSOCIATED WITH LOWLAND GORILLAS. YOU SHOULD JUST NAME YOUR FIRST BORN CRO MAGNON.

FUCK YOU TODD AND JESSICA. EAT SHIT.

This has to be one of the funniest successful marketing campaigns I have ever read. Modest, but still successful--much better than expected.

This dude is actually selling the damn shirts!

:)

Michael

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"Cro Magnon" is not an insult. Just the first modern European.

--Brant

"Daddy!"

We are all Cro Mags. We are all that is left of the human race since the Neanderthals either died off or were killed off (by Cro Mags).

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It's not that simple. There seem to be somewhat slight differences, but no apparent break in the lineage.

--Brant

we can breed!--hip, hip, hooray!

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Caucasians have Neanderthal genes!

A couple--not many.

--Brant

use to be we officially didn't have any, but science continues to advance

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Kinky Neanderthal sex of the ancestors?

Then we killed them.

--Brant

Or we ate their lunch, and dinner too.

Ba'al Chatzaf

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