Dilemma

[caroljane]

Help me out here guys, if you can. The world needs a decent rationally-based Agony Aunt anyway.

My paternal grandfather died long before I was born . I know almost nothing about him except that he I was ambidextrous and his children adored him and everybody in town liked him, that is only anecdotal evidence but I have heard a lot of it.

He was a WW1 vet and he died at age 47, rumour says while he was cheating on his second wife , and he left seven children the youngest being the child of his second wife, my uncle.

His second wife, my Grammie, inherited all his effects of course and among them she willed his WWI ID bracelet, she left them all to my father, her stepson.

I now own this bracelet, which I cherish. I want to leave it to my son, who moreover has an interest in military history. I have already given him the WWII medals of his grandfather.

I gave my uncle the military portrait of his father that dad had inherited, and he seemed so happy that I did that. I know that he was the youngest child of a father he never knew, and he is my uncle and I would not want to hurt him.

Don't know what to do,

[9thdoctor]

So you're asking whether you should give the WWI bracelet to your uncle, rather than your son? Has either expressed a desire for it? I don't see how an outsider can help with such a judgement call.

[Jerry Biggers]

Maybe I'm not getting this. The dilemna is should you give the bracelet to your uncle or to your son? Right?

How old is your uncle? Does he have offspring? Does he know about the bracelet?

If he does not have children, perhaps you could give him the bracelet, but add that your son would also quite likely like to have it., "at some time" (the meaning of which should be clear) .If he agrees, and states that he will pass it on, then your problem may be solved.

[caroljane]

I think the dlemma is, the bracelet isl legally mine, but who should properly own it?

[caroljane]

Maybe I'm not getting this. The dilemna is should you give the bracelet to your uncle or to your son? Right?

How old is your uncle? Does he have offspring? Does he know about the bracelet?

If he does not have children, perhaps you could give him the bracelet, but add that your son would also quite likely like to have it., "at some time" (the meaning of which should be clear) .If he agrees, and states that he will pass it on, then your problem may be solved.

My uncle has offspring and the bracelet matters to him very much.Everything about his father matters to him, more than he himself knows.

[Xray]

Carol,

I can only speak for myself of course, but empathizing with your uncle's situation (the bracelet mattering very much to him as a son who never knew his father) would tip the scale for me toward giving the bracelet to him.

[caroljane]

Carol,

I can only speak for myself of course, but empathizing with your uncle's situation (the bracelet mattering very much to him as a son who never knew his father) would tip the scale for me toward giving the bracelet to him.

Yes, objectively I think I should do that. But here is how I rationalize: If his mother had wanted him to have it, she would have given or left it to him. But she gave or left it to her stepson and thus eventually to me.

Morality sucks.

[caroljane]

Maybe I'm not getting this. The dilemna is should you give the bracelet to your uncle or to your son? Right?

How old is your uncle? Does he have offspring? Does he know about the bracelet?

If he does not have children, perhaps you could give him the bracelet, but add that your son would also quite likely like to have it., "at some time" (the meaning of which should be clear) .If he agrees, and states that he will pass it on, then your problem may be solved.

My uncle has offspring and the bracelet matters to him very much.Everything about his father matters to him, more than he himself knows.

I see where you are going with the age question. He is around 75 I guess, but he does not smoke or drink and I do, so I might not be around to see if things go as planned. Not that I don't trust him or my aunt. Just that their views about the wishes of the dead are different from mine. They did not bury my grandmother where she had asked to be buried.

[Xray]

Daunce Lynam said (post # 7):

Yes, objectively I think I should do that. But here is how I rationalize: If his mother had wanted him to have it, she would have given or left it to him. But she gave or left it to her stepson and thus eventually to me.

Morality sucks.

Imo in the dilemma you have described, there exist rational reasons for each decision.

[caroljane]

Thank you Angela, I value your opinion.

Things like this tend to shake down in the subconscious and the solution appears.

[Xray]

Thank you Angela, I value your opinion.

Things like this tend to shake down in the subconscious and the solution appears.

Indeed it often pays to let an issue 'stew' for some time in one's mind.

[Brant Gaede]

Thank you Angela, I value your opinion.

Things like this tend to shake down in the subconscious and the solution appears.

Indeed it often pays to let an issue 'stew' for some time in one's mind.

Gumbo?

--Brant

[caroljane]

Thank you Angela, I value your opinion.

Things like this tend to shake down in the subconscious and the solution appears.

Indeed it often pays to let an issue 'stew' for some time in one's mind.

Gumbo?

--Brant

In the case of Angela and me it is five-star bouillabaise.