Yes, I agree with you that love can be "for the sake of the other", without it being a sacrifice. In that sense I like to complement Ayn Rand's Aristotelian love of "enlightened self-interest" with Erich Fromm's "brotherly love" as described in his "Art of Loving".
That being said, my question in this thread was somewhat on the side of this issue. My question was about the transition from Protestant Christian Altruist self-sacrifical ethics and towards a healthy, life-affirmative type of living that yields proper self-esteem and love. A big problem with the Lutheran self-sacrifica