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Everything posted by dldelancey

  1. I'm beyond happy to see you posting again, Caroljane.
  2. In 2018 and 2019, I had the opportunity to travel to Russia several times on business. Most of my time was in Moscow, but I also visited St. Petersburg and Ryazan and a couple of other small towns in the vicinity of Moscow. Before every trip, I and my colleagues were briefed on acceptable behaviors in Russia and on what topics to avoid in conversation - the usual suspects including religion and politics. I found out on my first day in Moscow how difficult it is to avoid those topics as Russians are direct and often ask questions like "Do you go to church?" "Why are you single?" (this not in a flirty way, but in a judgmental way) "Who did you vote for in your last presidential election?" "Do you think Russians are less free than Americans?" "Do you agree that Russian hackers have interfered in your country?" They also like to debate the nature of freedom, the US constitution, who really won The Great Patriotic War, and whether the US moon landing was faked, among many other topics. I eventually stopped trying to be diplomatic in my responses, and would respond that my employer strongly discourages me from having these types of conversations. And now to the point... One of my Russian colleagues then explained that their directness is an implementation of Radical Honesty developed over decades (possibly centuries) of being in literal life or death situations where they have to ascertain quickly if the person they are interacting with can be trusted. It's not enough to see a smiling face or engage in pleasantries as the senses can be easily tricked or manipulated. It requires potentially uncomfortable interaction and the speedy collection of multiple data points to determine how safe one is in a situation. So, while there is value in the philosophical question how do I know what I know is true, there is also value in the practical question why do I need to know what I know is true. In the example of the frowning person storming out of the room (or not), if the person is a stranger to me and his presence, or lack thereof, is irrelevant... I probably don't care if he's mad, what he's mad about, or who he's mad at. However, if he's my fiance and the room he just stormed out of is the room in which we were about to be married, then I very quickly damn well figure out who he's mad at and why and I can't sit around observing stuff to get to the bottom of that.
  3. Young girls are not damaged by random music videos, even music videos that have 42 million views. They are damaged by a lack of exposure to healthy relationships in their homes and peer groups. They are damaged by not having adults in their lives who model how men and women should treat each other. They are damaged by a lack of education and by emotional and physical neglect or abuse. Their interest in random music videos is a reflection of the damage they've already suffered.
  4. What exactly about having a facelift makes one inappropriate or unqualified to do a job that they otherwise would have been appropriate or qualified for? Disclaimer: Asking this question should not be construed as my personal support or endorsement of any specific person for any specific job.
  5. You fellas assume a very thin skin of the OL women... all 2 of us.
  6. Altered Carbon. It's fiction, but posits some interesting conundrums around cloning and digitized human consciousness.
  7. My fella introduced me to a trio called The Trouble Notes. He took me to see them at a small venue in New Orleans. I wasn't expecting the musicians themselves to be greeting people at the door, so after talking to the violinist for a minute, it struck me who he was and my hillbilly self blurted out, "Oh my gosh, you're the fiddler!" (He's a classically trained former concert violinist and child prodigy.) He didn't seem offended, but my fella was mortified. What followed was a transcendent experience up close and personal in this tiny venue with brilliant music. When you say gypsy fiddler music, this is what I hear, and you can play that for me all day long.
  8. I never said he exhibited superior intelligence. I said that he put me in mind of a particular group of people who have exhibited superior intelligence within their cohorts. I drew conclusions about him and empathized with him from that perspective. My strategy for communicating with him was influenced by my experience with that demographic of people. Had he chosen to continue communicating, no doubt my strategy would have changed as I gained new information. From that frame of reference, there really shouldn't be anything that mysterious. Also, I'm quite familiar with the "brain science" of teenagers. I'm raising one. It's in the job description.
  9. I'm breaking my own general rule about cherry-picking here because the notion expressed in this quoted sentence is quite different from what I was trying to communicate. You seem to be using "mentality of 15 year olds" in a derogatory way. In fact, all the teenagers and very young adults (who range in age from 15-22) I've talked about in this thread are intellectually superior within their cohorts and high achievers in both the academic and professional realms. Yet, they have in common with other teenagers and very young adults a lack of experience in communicating their ideas in a way that will elicit a positive response from many of their elders. So no, in this context, there is nothing so very confusing about placing this particular college graduate in a demographic with the particular group of other teenagers and young adults I referenced. It's not an insult to phantom or to the 15-year-old who calls me mom. Rather, it's quite a good explanation for why I empathized with phantom. (That, and we enjoy the same anime.) That said, there are lots of college graduates of all ages, who exhibit every single day that they are less smart, less interesting, and with far less potential than these particular teenagers and young adults, even the 15-year-old.
  10. I’m road tripping today and passing my time as a passenger surfing the internet. I rarely have more than a few minutes these days for this kind of activity, so I tend to be quite selfish with how I spend those minutes. Hence, my much reduced activity here in general and my hesitance to devote a lot of energy on this thread. But I see there are others attempting to speak on my behalf and perhaps being offended for me, so .... Regarding a Socratic circle, I have no idea if there is a correct way to do one, and I’ve never participated in one. I only know what the young people in my life have told me about their experience. It’s typically done in ELA classes when discussing literature, but I assume it can be done in other settings. There’s an inner circle of participants who are meant to discuss and an outer circle of participants who are meant to observe. After a time, they switch places. There is some general topic, but other than that the discussion is meant to be a sharing of ideas and wherever that goes, it goes. Now, my understanding is that it can be quite boring when participants repeat by rote. Therefore, kids like my son will open with some purposely provocative statement. Playing devil’s advocate if you will. Pot stirring if you prefer. It’s common for him to begin dinner discussions this way. We’re both entertained. I’ve seen this be not so entertaining. One of the young people on my team at work is accustomed to being the most brilliant person in the room. And she is brilliant. But what worked for her in the classroom doesn’t always work in the real world. When she comes to me with a purposely provocative idea, it’s my job to coach her through communicating that in a way that won’t get her laughed out of the room. Or called condescending. Regarding the phantom, I don’t know him. I’ve said already that I drew conclusions about him based on what I gleaned from his original post and my own experiences. I don’t have any attachment to the rightness or wrongness of those conclusions. Michael, I simply don’t know what else I could contribute that would be enlightening for you, but I freely admit that I didn’t go very far backwards to see what other questions you may have asked that I didn’t address. Unless you expected a response to “aw, c’mon” in which case I’ll close with “Jane, you ignorant slut!” That’s a joke, of course. Everyone be well.
  11. I didn’t miss that he was a college graduate. I was a teenage college graduate. My son is on track to be a teenage college graduate. I have two direct reports who were teenage college graduates and an intern who will be a teenage college graduate next spring. That last one doesn’t even drive yet. I am surrounded by very young high performers and over achievers who are earnest yet awkward in their communication styles. All of them have learned a particular type of discussion method called a Socratic Circle. I am accustomed to my son opening discussions in the manner in which phantom did so. Also, as I pointed out before, the quote and the graphic in the original post are from an animated series that I have enjoyed with my son. Given that phantom quoted general Iroh and then explicitly said he was following Iroh’s advice, he seems to be identifying with Iroh’s grandson Zuko, a teenager or very young adult. This is also why I assume he’s male. There are strong female characters in the series that he could have identified with but didn’t. I could go on, but I’m not sure I see the point. You drew a conclusion. I drew a conclusion. We each did so based on our own experiences. We could both be wrong or the reality may be something in between. We simply can’t know unless phantom cares to enlighten us.
  12. Or a very young adult as I already said. Absent of any other evidence, yes I still assume so.
  13. He's a child or else a very young adult. The graphic is General Iroh from Avatar: the Last Airbender an anime series that ran from 2005-2008 and is still popular today. The hand gesture Iroh is making is likely part of a kata as he often imparted wisdom to his grandson while they trained together. My 15-year-old and I loved that series and quote from it on a semi-regular basis. The very next line after the graphic, our mystery poster says, "So here I am, trying to draw wisdom from a new source." I read him in the same way I would have read my teenage son - more mature and smarter than average, but an awkward communicator and not sure how to convey that he wants to learn something while maintaining that he knows everything. You know, like a kid would do. Your experience, MSK, led you to read him differently, and you'll get no judgment from me on that, neither in my response to the poster nor in this response to you. However, I was compelled to answer honestly his honest inquiry. No, I did not get the same impression of him as others did.
  14. No, not at all. Not to everyone.
  15. He has said "I love you" to someone, and he's on pin and needles waiting to hear "I love you, too."
  16. There is nothing forced or artificial about saying to young girls "you could be a CEO" and then in the next breath saying to young boys "you could be a stay-at-home parent." It only becomes artificial and forced when you attempt to fit an individual into a role that she or he doesn't want or isn't suited for.
  17. The genders are equal, although biologically not the same. Teachers are, indeed, to be admired. It's not a job I could do. We can agree to disagree re: gender freedom. If speaking from a purely legal perspective, sure, but I sincerely doubt that "precisely the number of men who wanted to be nurses... are now nurses." There is just too much societal pressure for men to be manly, and nursing (or speech therapy, or preschool teaching or GASP! stay at home parenting) is just not mainstream manly. Nursing is becoming more so, though. How that relates to The Squad is just that it's a very typical thing I often see in the workplace. A woman wants to be equal, and yet she calls herself (and her colleagues) out as part of an exclusive group. In this case, she chose an unfortunate pop culture reference that puts her in the emotional league of high school girls. How that relates to the original post is that there are many many women out there who want it all without acknowledging that something must be conceded. "We will never have true equality until 50% of organizations are run by women and 50% of homes are run by men." Paraphrasing Sheryl Sandberg.
  18. Merlin, Squad (noun): a small group of people having a particular task. In popular culture, it's a term well known to apply to a group of women (usually young ones) with a close friendship and shared values. Google "girl squad." The images alone should give you an idea of how that term is used. It's a simple, albeit somewhat juvenile, concept. AOC was showing immaturity when she applied that term to herself and her colleagues in a professional capacity. Personally, I would distance myself from that in regards my career as I would see it as undermining my professionalism. Peter, We don't have gender equality. How many men are nurses? Or speech therapists? Or preschool teachers? Probably about the same percentage of women who are CEOs. Sadly, it's rare for anyone who talks about equality to look at both sides of the equation.
  19. I can't think of any logical reasoning behind a leap from "working in STEM" to marijuana farmer, so I will assume you're joking. LOL hahahaha you're so funny.
  20. Well, no, I wouldn't go that far. I worked tobacco farms as a kid/teenager. Always someone else's farm. Of course, my family always had a garden, or else we ate poorly. The agriculture I was referring to in the post (and the experience on which I was drawing originally in this thread) was from working in STEM for a global agriculture corporation.
  21. I'm sure you did clarify. However, since I've slept many times over since 2014, and I haven't worked in agriculture in 3 years, I have no basis on which to continue debate. :-)
  22. A Writer's Prayer by Neil Gaiman "...let me say true things, in a voice that is true, and with the truth in mind, let me write lies." From an interview with Neil Gaiman: "...I always felt like I was real and changing things and doing something sensible when I was writing..." I quote Neil Gaiman because his work is kind of out there. If one can point to any author's body of work and ask what's the point other than to be fun (and often dark) and certainly entertaining, it's this author. He is all over the place in terms of genre and format. Yet, by his own words, the importance of his work to him is quite evident.
  23. That episode gave me nightmares. (But that series was amazing! Is another "season" coming?) A 72-hour hold is the most anyone is going to get in any state in the US. There is no good solution to mental health issues that require involuntary commitment. From experience, I know how difficult and expensive it is to get real help for someone who needs it but is not capable of getting it for himself. An entire family can be prepared to invest hours and hours of their lives and tens of thousands of dollars to ensure that a diagnosed bipolar, borderline, schizophrenic doesn't injure himself or others, and yet... injure himself and many others he will because those hours and dollars will have been wasted when the 72 hours is up. And the next 72 hours. And the next 72 hours. Still, when the front page is filled with his crimes, everyone will be asking why didn't someone get him help before this happened. The answer? Those someones dropped all ties and didn't tell him where we moved to after his last attempt to cut our throats and the best we could get was a 72 fucking hour hold. So yeah, there's some kind of way to find a balance here, but we in the US have not figured it out yet.
  24. My favorite moment from that season of Big Brother... “I’m wearing that bitch’s shoes.” I’ll go back to lurking now.
  25. Did you catch Omarosa on Celebrity Big Brother? She was entertaining.