Rich Engle

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Everything posted by Rich Engle

  1. I have both. I This is a lovely movie. You will see a few moments in there where very true things are said about the nature of many PC users. Welcome to the Macintosh After a long time, I finally got my hands on one to stick in the network; a lovely IMac. Old, but jacked up a bit. It is simply a better experience, period. r
  2. Two of the greatest atomic-grade turd bombs ever, no?
  3. Flat-out turd: If not turd, nearby the toilet:
  4. Whoa, good pick. This one's also god-awful, in the same vein. Yup. Oddly, it made me think that also should be anything by the Plastic Ono Band. She needs to die.
  5. And Rod Mckuen, at least to my mind, is possibly one of the most repulsive, narcissistic, overrated performers that ever existed. That being said, never underestimate how low the common denominator can be. It will sink in front of you, and rap music proved that long ago. Let's get into the horrid area of kid music: I could go for Raffi, but the thing there is he is just a shit folk singer. It's not the songs' faults. Tempting, though. Very tempting. Anyone that has raised kids is aware of both these dreadful incidents included into what is called music. Now, this one is problematic for me in that I have a huge soft spot in my heart for Fred Rogers. Difficult judgment call, probably not sufficient. It depends where you are at mentally when you listen to it. It is the musical equivalent of snorting a few Xanax bars, and there are times where that might be appropriate:
  6. New ones just crossed my mind: Any music Rod McKuen did. Anything. To wit: I am already in the process of fashioning a crude noose for myself. This one alone is dreadnought-class uber-turd. rde
  7. No, I am sorry, it doesn't work that way at all in song writing. In fact, songwriting is pretty much the only place where you can pull off not just bad grammar, but straight-out craziness. And I am not just talking about onomatopoeia. The gloves are off on this because of the melding between music and words. It would be thoroughly unreasonable (but you will get it upon occasion) to think that song lyrics work like prose, or, for that matter, even poetry. Oh, here's a basic example: Celtic Thunder Whiskey In The Jar Audio Celtic Thunder – Heritage Whiskey in the Jar Lyrics as sung and performed by Keith Harkin and Neil Byrne of Celtic Thunder Keith: As I was going over, the Cork and Kerry Mountains. I saw Captain Farrell, and his money he was countin’. I first produced my pistols, then produced my rapier. I said “Stand there or deliver, or the devil he may take you”. Neil & Keith: Musha rain dum-a-doo dum-a-da Whack for my daddy-o, Whack for my daddy-o There’s whiskey in the jar-o. Neil: I took all of his money, and it was a pretty penny. I took all of his money, and I brought it home to Molly. She swore that she loved me, never would she leave me. But the devil take that woman, for she knows she treat me easy. Neil & Keith: Musha rain dum-a-doo dum-a-da Whack for my daddy-o Whack for my daddy-o There’s whiskey in the jar-o. (Guitar Duet – Both) Keith: Round ’bout six or maybe seven, in walked Captain Farrell I jumped up, fired on my pistol, and I shot him with both barrels. Neil & Keith: Musha rain dum-a-doo dum-a-da, ha, ya Whack for my daddy-o, Whack for my daddy-o There’s whiskey in the jar-o. Neil: Some men like the fishin’ and some men like the fowlin’, and some men like to hear, the cannon ball a rollin’. Keith: Me? I like sleepin’ especially in my Molly’s chamber. But here I am in prison, here I am with ball and chain, yeah. Keith & Neil: Musha rain dum-a-doo dum-a-da, Whack for my daddy-o, Whack for my daddy-o There’s whiskey in the jar-o. (repeat) (Guitar Duet – Both) CELTIC THUNDER, CELTIC TH
  8. It is a difficult project, because of the thin floating line twixt artist and song. For instance, though, at the extreme, Rosie O'Donnell doing the National Anthem would not qualify for obvious reasons. Simply a different form of terror, is all.
  9. I adore Cher, but this one always caused me painful rectal itch. She's a True Diva, but in the end a better actress than a singer. If you haven't seen "Burlesque," take a look. She's still got the Kung Fu.
  10. No fair sneaking a best into a worst thread. --Brant That's right, Brant. I thought I was clear about this.
  11. Do you have any idea how many high school girls masturbated to "Hungry Like A Wolf"? I have field research to prove it. I saw them in Cleveland before they "became." Back then, they were wearing spray painted beehive wigs, lots of fog, and playing Beatles cover tunes. I was in the front row and saw this, but the bastards will always deny it. r
  12. Definitely Foul. And we should kill the Keebler Elves<tm> while we are at it. rde
  13. Of course, J, there's this one. I hated it the day it came out, my dad and mom loved it. It was psychological torture in that we had the record, AND the sheet music--which they both duet-ed on. This is just one of many versions. One of the main go-to's in songwriting when you know you have a turd in your hands is to modulate it up a whole step, repeat until death occurs. That happens a lot, in this tragic case at about 1:17.
  14. Nicely done! Truly Turd-O-Licious! Yes! The Hurricane Smith is particularly disturbing, no? And, just for the record, those kinds of Strats back then were absolutely disgusting. Unless, of course, you were buying one to pound a nail into a fencepost. Thank you, CBS, for your beautiful work. Regards, rde
  15. I don't care what anyone says. It was shit then, it is shit now. The repetition of chorus alone, for fuck's sake. I'd rather attend a funeral including a Full Catholic Mass, because it would get done sooner. Nasty. 5:35 of sheer terror. Although, I will give him kudos for warping the space-time continuum. Possibly the worst part about it is that when you think it is done, it resurrects itself, briefly, like a zombie.
  16. As if Dylan weren't enough to put up with. Idea: Go online, search for self-embalming kit.
  17. Shit-Sandwich. At that time, the #1 band on the planet.
  18. I listened to it just to assure the torture levels and had to bail in under .5 minutes.
  19. Inspirational Research Material for the Beginner:
  20. It should work virally for all of us. Here's one. I was forced to sing this in 4th grade choir, and even had to wear a Green Beret. The Horror. I even had to get my parents buy the 45 for me. At that time, I thought it was cool. It wasn't. Aside from the thoroughly stiff arrangement, notice the death-like Hammond Organ parts. A true nightmare. The brass parts are even nasty.
  21. ADDENDUM: It also just occurred to me that an important distinction is that the idea is to look for simply horrible songs, meaning, not how it was interpreted by the artist: that is a whole category unto itself. We could go on forever on that one, and it is not a bad idea if you contemplate it. My idea is to look for turd songs. Musicologist suggestions: What you are normally looking for (but not entirely limited to looking for) are songs where lyrics and music are written by one person, or at the most, a songwriting duo. A good sterilized example, a bit stretchy one, would be, for instance, analyzing Fred Loesser's stuff. Yes, he did "Guys and Dolls" and a million other ones, but if you read into what the music and lyrics combine to, often, the horror begins. Again, I am not trying to put strict limits on this: a Turd Is A Turd. This could get dicey, and that is fine. For instance, folk songs. Many years ago, in my musical infancy, I heard a version of "Tom Dooley" that gave me the Fear. I'm not sure about ones like that, but I do know that the song was so horrid that it didn't matter who sung it. That's all. Best, rde
  22. Alright, I didn't even check, but I am pretty sure we have dipped into these savage waters before here on OL. My personal, selfish reasoning is that I have been far too busy to do any serious posting here (much to the relief of many), and I want to, er, "continue to contribute." Right. It came to me when I was watching an excellent lesbo movie, "One Night In Rome." If you are a guy that loves Lesbianism, this is the movie for you. And, you can easily skip through the dialog sequences. Excellent! There is so much top-notch, artsy lesbo action in this that it just has that beauty; you keep thanking Jesus, or Zeus, or whoever for what is going down. The film keeps rolling away like that, and then, near the tail end, the beloved Shower Scene. And this is what killed it for me because one of them sang a song I utterly loathe. I am a professional musician, and I have to play anything that goes in front of me. Enough said. Rules: None, really, because every time you think you have found the worst one ever, another one shows up. There is no end to it. I only suggest we keep it roughly, say, from the late '50's to present. You have to put some controls on the thing. Then, if anyone replies, we could tally them all up and create a giant shit-list. That's about it for how I picture the contest. There will be no winners. At first I was going to offer prizes and not send them, but I thought better of that. So, I will start gently. The commentary should be, I imagine, funnier than the horror of the song itself. 1. Volare. This song is annoying, horrible crap, especially if you have ever had to do a club gig with, say, a Frank Sinatra wannabe. It is a pure death blow. 2. Feelings. Same as above, but greasier. That's it, just start with two, although my music director mentioned "Lightning Strikes Again," which is a true turd, as well. Happy Hunting, rde
  23. That's pretty rough, but we all have been there. I got mine taken in the summer of 1976 one hour after my first day of my summer job at Wendy's. You could see and smell the tragic horror of it all. I have destroyed all known copies, but a few remain in the family. rde