Animals' Right to Privacy

[sbeaulieu]

FOX NEWS

Animals’ Right to Privacy Denied by Wildlife Documentaries

I was going to put this into the Articles section, but I couldn't stop laughing inside. I suppose the little bunny must have written to this researcher with the following comment:

Dear Dr. Brett Mills of the University of East Anglia,

For the past couple of years, I've had NatGeo on my ass filming round the clock. I can't even get some "special" time with the Mrs (and we like our special time...a lot). Recently, we've come to understand that there's been a phrase coined at our expense, ~F%$@ing like bunnies~! Now we know why! Please give us our privacy. If not, we will employ the services of the Easter Bunny. He won't come bearing gifts.

Sincerly,

"That" Rabbit

~ Shane

[Rich Engle]

We just got a hamster, and I told her, right off the rip: I will feed you, I will give you an apartment. I just like to watch. That's all.

rde

Firing up the webcam, gettin' ready to scoop in those YouTube bucks.

[sbeaulieu]

We just got a hamster, and I told her, right off the rip: I will feed you, I will give you an apartment. I just like to watch. That's all.

rde

Firing up the webcam, gettin' ready to scoop in those YouTube bucks.

Rich,

Don't forget to throw in a wheel. That way, she can at least feel she has the option to run away ;)

~ Shane

[9thdoctor]

Animals’ Right to Privacy Denied by Wildlife Documentaries

I want to take this opportunity to stand up for the rights of fungi.

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It’s high time someone did a citizens arrest on this BBC fascist. All living beings are threatened by his pornographic fetish-inspired programs.

[George H. Smith]

Speaking of masturbation and privacy (gotta love these threads)...

When I discovered the joys of masturbation as a young boy, I was also a devout Christian. And though no one specifically told me so, I figured that masturbating felt so good that it must be sinful.

As a young fundamentalist Christian, I had been told many times that God was everywhere, and that he was watching me so closely that he could even count the number of hairs on my head. Okay, this didn't bother me when I was riding my bicycle or eating dinner, but when I entered the Ring of Pleasure for another round with the bald-headed contender, the notion of an omnipresent voyeurist really bugged me.

My guilt was exacerbated by my vague familiarity with the Trinity, according to which God is three persons in one "substance." So I now had an audience of three -- the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost -- watching me. And the fact that a picture of the second person (Jesus) was hanging on a bedroom wall didn't help matters at all. Had I been Catholic and had that been a picture of the Virgin Mary I wouldn't have minded as much; in fact, it might have added an interesting edge to the experience.

Anyway, before beginning the dirty deed, I would often hope that God, along with a host of angels and dead relatives, would turn the other way for a while, so I could at least sin in private. I never put this in the form of prayer; I merely thought of it as a passing wish, hoping that God could take a hint.

As funny as all this may sound now, there is a very serious aspect to it, one that I discussed in ATCAG (where I use the expression "ominpresent voyeurist"). The sexual guilt it can instill in a child is vicious and can last for many years.

Yeah, I know, this is off topic -- but, short of starting a thread on human masturbation, where else could I post these thoughts?

Ghs

[Brant Gaede]

I didn't learn how to masturbate until I was 16, being too stupid to figure it out on my own. I had plenty of wet dreams, though. My last wet dream as in Vietnam in 1967. The women who cleaned up my bed clothes found out what had happened and giggled all over the place.

--Brant

embarassed

sexually molested by my hospital nurse when I was 14--I should have got her name and address and a blow job

[George H. Smith]

I didn't learn how to masturbate until I was 16, being too stupid to figure it out on my own.

16?! I was closing in on the world record by the time I was 16.

Ghs

[Rich Engle]

Okay, this didn't bother me when I was riding my bicycle or eating dinner, but when I entered the Ring of Pleasure for another round with the bald-headed contender, the notion of an omnipresent voyeurist really bugged me.

OHHH yeah. Well, since we're going to the ground (or sewer), I might as well rub one off here too.

Those freaks aren't content to limit the voyeurism to mere hog-flogging--they do it in pre-marriage "counseling," as well. Great, now you and your wife are trapped in a menage , and not the kind every man feels entitled to getting at least once before he dies. Yuck. I don't perform well under that kind of pressure--even after years of playing gigs and public speaking, doing the do with The Almighty in the front row is bound to trigger any remaining thoughts of stage fright. Just nuts, man.

But back to the spanking. Despite incredible adversity (I will elaborate momentarily), persistence, biological drive, and sheer dirtiness prevailed, allowing me to perfect the Art, both in quantity and quality. You gotta have breadth and depth to be a True Professional<tm>.

I started early (9). This involved an accidental discovery while performing, uh, "research" in the bathtub, resulting in something that I viewed as nothing less than a trans-rational Epiphany. Whatever That was that happened, I was out for more. And, I somehow had enough sense of discretion to keep It to myself, what with It appearing to be the Most Sacred and Powerful of All Things. Vigorous research continued, which included developing some kind of linkage between That and browsing the lingerie section of Sears catalogs--there was a relationship there, but it remained undefined for some years.

Not long after the Epiphany, I was routing through our hall closet, and came upon a piece of technology that changed my life, forever. It was even more vintage, but looked something like this:

THE GREATEST PIECE OF EQUIPMENT EVER MADE

Now, this was the sixties, and for you young'uns, let me explain what was doing here. Back then, there was what I guess you would call a brilliant marketing strategy going on with these devices; sort of a don't ask don't tell thing. Call it cross-marketing, whatever. The supposed purpose of said gear was, of course, to relieve stress; tired, aching muscles. Yeah. The thing was, it came with attachments that, at least as far as I can tell, bore little if any relationship to that. I can't imagine what muscles they were thinking about. Mine (My Precious) even had this concave, form-fitting thing that...well anyway you get the idea.

And this baby had serious horsepower. Having, even then, an avid interest in electronics, magnetism, etc., I immediately took it to my laboratory for evaluation. When I hit the power switch, I jumped--the beast was so powerful it was sending shock waves up my arm! If I closed my front teeth together, they would begin chattering. Goddamn amazing.

This was one of those moments that separate the Great Scientists from the wannabes--the ability to think so abstractly as to integrate what appear to be two completely divergent areas of research, and create a New Whole that exceeds the sum of its parts. It only made sense, so I gave it a shot. Or I should say it gave ME a shot. It appeared to be some kind of direct connection to the Cosmos.

This experiment created a condition within me not unlike that of a heroin junkie's. There was just no end to it. And, I had to neatly replace the box in the closet each time, for fear of discovery.

One day (like every day at that point) after school I hurried to my laboratory (that was my bedroom at the time, but I had a dedicated area) to continue what was now a rigorously long set of trials--you gotta put up numbers. And I was still trying to categorize applications for the various attachments--the "scalp massager" was perplexing me, as I recall.

And that is when the door burst open, and there she was: Mom. Staring at me--she wanted to suprise me with a piece of lemon cake she had baked--my favorite! I think I still had my Cub Scout uniform on, too, on top of everything else. Pants down, legs akimbo.

Actually, she was pretty cool about it. I think more than anything she was afraid I might hurt myself with such a formidable power tool (one which she, now that I look back on it, likely knew quite well). A little lecture about how sex is a natural thing. But basically, knock that shit off. After that, my parents tried to hide it, but I always flushed it out--desperation does strange things to a man; it firms his resolve and persistence.

The worst part, though, THE WORST PART, was that this now became the leading topic of all cocktail party conversations, FOREVER. The woman just couldn't help herself. I would sit, cringing, behind the closed door of my laboratory during these hibachi-wiener-and-martini-fests, hearing the story told far and wide to all who would listen, over and over again..."...and you should have seen him there with his LITTLE THING standing straight up in the AIR!"

This is the type of incident that breeds sociopaths, serial killers. Or at the least, male erectile dysfunction.

So you can see, Gentle Reader: it is near a miracle that I am not in a monastery. Of course, from what I see going on nowadays (and probably since their beginning) that wouldn't provide much protection either.

A few years later I found some small solace in reading Roth's "Portnoy's Complaint," which is a detailed account of a chronic masturbator living in a repressed Jewish household. I could relate to the scene where he stole a piece of liver out of the fridge, used it, then realized it would be missed and had to put it back. I think that is one of the best chapter closes ever written...he says something to the effect of "And that's the worst thing I have ever done. I f****d my family's dinner."

Yours in the whippin',

rde

Edited May 1, 2010 by Rich Engle

[CNA]

All of you guys started way late. Mine was 4 or 5 y/o and by accident but woohooo!!!! There began my fascination with sex and many many good times followed!!!!!! The wonders of electrical devices not intended for the purpose they were designed for.....but so not going to go here. LMAO

Not long after the Epiphany, I was routing through our hall closet, and came upon a piece of technology that changed my life, forever. It was even more vintage, but looked something like this:

THE GREATEST PIECE OF EQUIPMENT EVER MADE

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I hit the power switch, I jumped--the beast was so powerful it was sending shock waves up my arm! If I closed my front teeth together, they would begin chattering.

ROFLMAO--I'm dying with fucking laughter. Oh, god, damn, my tummy hurts from laughing so hard!!!!

the "scalp massager" was perplexing me, as I recall.

Oh, shit, crying now laughing so hard!!

And that is when the door burst open, and there she was: Mom. Staring at me--she wanted to suprise me with a piece of lemon cake she had baked--my favorite! I think I still had my Cub Scout uniform on, too, on top of everything else. Pants down, legs akimbo.

LMAO

The worst part, though, THE WORST PART, was that this now became the leading topic of all cocktail party conversations, FOREVER. The woman just couldn't help herself. I would sit, cringing, behind the closed door of my laboratory during these hibachi-wiener-and-martini-fests, hearing the story told far and wide to all who would listen, over and over again..."...and you should have seen him there with his LITTLE THING standing straight up in the AIR!"

You must have been the life of the party for millennia. It's not so bad, Rich, to have your equipment flaunted around to every woman and man at these parties and probably at her work and everywhere else she went, the woman at the grocery story packing the groceries away, the woman at the local McDonald's too, possibly even your teachers at parent/teacher conferences, THEY ALL KNEW I'm sure. So tell me, Rich, please how LITTLE and TINY was it??? I just gotta know.

I could relate to the scene where he stole a piece of liver out of the fridge, used it, then realized it would be missed and had to put it back. I think that is one of the best chapter closes ever written...he says something to the effect of "And that's the worst thing I have ever done. I f****d my family's dinner."

Oh, man, that's bad. Eeek LMAO

[CNA]

As a young fundamentalist Christian, I had been told many times that God was everywhere, and that he was watching me so closely that he could even count the number of hairs on my head. Okay, this didn't bother me when I was riding my bicycle or eating dinner, but when I entered the Ring of Pleasure for another round with the bald-headed contender, the notion of an omnipresent voyeurist really bugged me.

My god, talk about the amount of pressure and being able to perform. I would have thrown in the towel or may very well have turned into a hardcore exhibitionist and voyeurist. I'd be all paranoid but would get over it pretty quick. Oh, what the hell, screw it, let 'em watch. It might add a bit of spice!!!!

As funny as all this may sound now, there is a very serious aspect to it, one that I discussed in ATCAG (where I use the expression "ominpresent voyeurist"). The sexual guilt it can instill in a child is vicious and can last for many years.

If you were heading for the world record at 16 with all this guilt and NOW that you're an atheist, DAYAMMMMM, Boy?!?! Into the millions perhaps by now and having a good ole time, no more guilt!!!!!! Gotta love the joys of sex in whatever form!!!!

Yeah, I know, this is off topic -- but, short of starting a thread on human masturbation, where else could I post these thoughts?

I can think of a few places!!!! LOL

[Rich Engle]

After awhile, you just start working on your breaker box, and porting in a 220 line. Desensitization becomes a non-issue, since, in fact, you are already desensitized.

It explains a good deal about womens' expectation levels. How can you compete with raw torque?

"Do you feel/Like I feel?" --Peter Frampton

After the Global Elites take over, it will come down to whether or not you got a good deal on Craig's List--a nice daisy-chain of Honda gas generators (they are quiet, and fine motors in general; I hate buying Jap shit, but whatever, right?). I recommend parallel over serial wiring, but it depends.

It makes you go back and wonder about the Great Battle between Edison and Tesla; DC or AC?

Fortunately, I have freed myself of all these mechanical problems. My fiancee' keeps a few tools around the house, just to say she can.

In the end, economics and efficiencies prevail. Meaning, there's nothing you can't make right on this (gloriously right) with a few pieces of leather, and some good sesame oil.

It's simple, like that.

rde

[CNA]

After awhile, you just start working on your breaker box, and porting in a 220 line. Desensitization becomes a non-issue, since, in fact, you are already desensitized.

Oh, boy, here we go again with the 220 and the power surges!! Your wife has a few toys. If there's a spike in your electricity bill, you might want to ask her why!!! LMAO Yeah, I would imagine at that speed totally desensitized, completely numb

It explains a good deal about womens' expectation levels. How can you compete with raw torque?

Some women but not all. I know of many wonderful competing factors that will do just fine with me and ocassionally mixed in with a little torque sometimes too!!!

"Do you feel/Like I feel?" --Peter Frampton

I'm not too sure about this one!!!

After the Global Elites take over, it will come down to whether or not you got a good deal on Craig's List--a nice daisy-chain of Honda gas generators (they are quiet, and fine motors in general; I hate buying Jap shit, but whatever, right?). I recommend parallel over serial wiring, but it depends.

Damn, is that what your fiancee needs?!?! LOL Power generator will do the trick, light up the whole fucking neighborhood other than when she's around and needs it!!!

Fortunately, I have freed myself of all these mechanical problems.

I'm really glad to hear this. Oh, man!!!!!

My fiancee' keeps a few tools around the house, just to say she can.

Good for her!!! I think we all do and perhaps a few booty calls here and there for some of us or other "play" toys that give spice and A LOT of edginess !!!

[George H. Smith]

As a young fundamentalist Christian, I had been told many times that God was everywhere, and that he was watching me so closely that he could even count the number of hairs on my head. Okay, this didn't bother me when I was riding my bicycle or eating dinner, but when I entered the Ring of Pleasure for another round with the bald-headed contender, the notion of an omnipresent voyeurist really bugged me.

My god, talk about the amount of pressure and being able to perform. I would have thrown in the towel or may very well have turned into a hardcore exhibitionist and voyeurist. I'd be all paranoid but would get over it pretty quick. Oh, what the hell, screw it, let 'em watch. It might add a bit of spice!!!!

I have long since learned to sublimate my sexual impulses into more socially acceptable channels, such as philosophy, procrastination, and excessive posting on Objectivist websites.

Ghs

[Brant Gaede]

As a young fundamentalist Christian, I had been told many times that God was everywhere, and that he was watching me so closely that he could even count the number of hairs on my head. Okay, this didn't bother me when I was riding my bicycle or eating dinner, but when I entered the Ring of Pleasure for another round with the bald-headed contender, the notion of an omnipresent voyeurist really bugged me.

My god, talk about the amount of pressure and being able to perform. I would have thrown in the towel or may very well have turned into a hardcore exhibitionist and voyeurist. I'd be all paranoid but would get over it pretty quick. Oh, what the hell, screw it, let 'em watch. It might add a bit of spice!!!!

I have long since learned to sublimate my sexual impulses into more socially acceptable channels, such as philosophy, procrastination, and excessive posting on Objectivist websites.

Ghs

Do you also take Viagra in order to post?

--Brant

works for me

[George H. Smith]

I have long since learned to sublimate my sexual impulses into more socially acceptable channels, such as philosophy, procrastination, and excessive posting on Objectivist websites.

Ghs

Do you also take Viagra in order to post?

--Brant

works for me

No, but I always wear a condom.

Ghs

[CNA]

As a young fundamentalist Christian, I had been told many times that God was everywhere, and that he was watching me so closely that he could even count the number of hairs on my head. Okay, this didn't bother me when I was riding my bicycle or eating dinner, but when I entered the Ring of Pleasure for another round with the bald-headed contender, the notion of an omnipresent voyeurist really bugged me.

My god, talk about the amount of pressure and being able to perform. I would have thrown in the towel or may very well have turned into a hardcore exhibitionist and voyeurist. I'd be all paranoid but would get over it pretty quick. Oh, what the hell, screw it, let 'em watch. It might add a bit of spice!!!!

I have long since learned to sublimate my sexual impulses into more socially acceptable channels, such as philosophy, procrastination, and excessive posting on Objectivist websites.

Ghs

Oh, that's a bunch of crap. You're a guy!!! I know guys too well!!! There's always something else!?!?! Woohoo!!! Even for us girls and finding a less "socially acceptable" outlet!!!!

[CNA]

I have long since learned to sublimate my sexual impulses into more socially acceptable channels, such as philosophy, procrastination, and excessive posting on Objectivist websites.

Ghs

Do you also take Viagra in order to post?

--Brant

works for me

No, but I always wear a condom.

Ghs

LMAO!! Oh, man.

[CNA]

I have long since learned to sublimate my sexual impulses into more socially acceptable channels, such as philosophy, procrastination, and excessive posting on Objectivist websites.

Ghs

Do you also take Viagra in order to post?

--Brant

works for me

No, but I always wear a condom.

Ghs

I'm a bit curious, how you feeling now? Since you've found a more socially acceptable channel of posting excessively on OL?!?! We ALL want to know, esp me because I'm a woman and always curious!!

[George H. Smith]

I have long since learned to sublimate my sexual impulses into more socially acceptable channels, such as philosophy, procrastination, and excessive posting on Objectivist websites.

Ghs

Do you also take Viagra in order to post?

--Brant

works for me

No, but I always wear a condom.

Ghs

I'm a bit curious, how you feeling now? Since you've found a more socially acceptable channel of posting excessively on OL?!?! We ALL want to know, esp me because I'm a woman and always curious!!

How am I feeling now? Let me put it this way: I'm feeling wide awake.

Ghs

[CNA]

I have long since learned to sublimate my sexual impulses into more socially acceptable channels, such as philosophy, procrastination, and excessive posting on Objectivist websites.

Ghs

Do you also take Viagra in order to post?

--Brant

works for me

No, but I always wear a condom.

Ghs

I'm a bit curious, how you feeling now? Since you've found a more socially acceptable channel of posting excessively on OL?!?! We ALL want to know, esp me because I'm a woman and always curious!!

How am I feeling now? Let me put it this way: I'm feeling wide awake.

Ghs

Oh, shit, okay. I guess it's from all the excessive posting, procrastination and philosophical websites you've been posting to and browsing!! That's interesting. I guess it is more socially acceptable. I say screw socially acceptable!!! You need another outlet, man!!!! Badly!!!

I can figure some out for you I'm sure!!

[George H. Smith]

How am I feeling now? Let me put it this way: I'm feeling wide awake.

Ghs

Oh, shit, okay. I guess it's from all the excessive posting, procrastination and philosophical websites you've been posting to and browsing!! That's interesting. I guess it is more socially acceptable. I say screw socially acceptable!!! You need another outlet, man!!!! Badly!!!

I can figure some out for you I'm sure!!

Hmmmm...This thread an Animals' Right to Privacy has turned out to be more interesting than I would have imagined.

Btw, your picture looks very familiar to me. Have I seen you somewhere before?

Ghs

[CNA]

How am I feeling now? Let me put it this way: I'm feeling wide awake.

Ghs

Oh, shit, okay. I guess it's from all the excessive posting, procrastination and philosophical websites you've been posting to and browsing!! That's interesting. I guess it is more socially acceptable. I say screw socially acceptable!!! You need another outlet, man!!!! Badly!!!

I can figure some out for you I'm sure!!

Hmmmm...This thread an Animals' Right to Privacy has turned out to be more interesting than I would have imagined.

Btw, your picture looks very familiar to me. Have I seen you somewhere before?

Ghs

Yeah, it is interesting and funny too!! It's the same pic that's been up for a very long time. I was posting briefly though on Objectivism Online I think it is a number of years ago but used a different photo I think, different user name too, or may have been the same photo that I use here. But I only posted briefly on that site. I don't even remember my user name and password any longer because it was so brief. It may have been there?!?! Have you posted there before? Maybe that's what it is.

[George H. Smith]

How am I feeling now? Let me put it this way: I'm feeling wide awake.

Ghs

Oh, shit, okay. I guess it's from all the excessive posting, procrastination and philosophical websites you've been posting to and browsing!! That's interesting. I guess it is more socially acceptable. I say screw socially acceptable!!! You need another outlet, man!!!! Badly!!!

I can figure some out for you I'm sure!!

Hmmmm...This thread an Animals' Right to Privacy has turned out to be more interesting than I would have imagined.

Btw, your picture looks very familiar to me. Have I seen you somewhere before?

Ghs

Yeah, it is interesting and funny too!! It's the same pic that's been up for a very long time. I was posting briefly though on Objectivism Online I think it is a number of years ago but used a different photo I think, different user name too, or may have been the same photo that I use here. But I only posted briefly on that site. I don't even remember my user name and password any longer because it was so brief. It may have been there?!?! Have you posted there before? Maybe that's what it is.

I've never belonged to Objectivism Online, so that's not it. I'm bad with names, but I have an excellent memory for faces. This is really bugging me....

Ghs

[CNA]

How am I feeling now? Let me put it this way: I'm feeling wide awake.

Ghs

Oh, shit, okay. I guess it's from all the excessive posting, procrastination and philosophical websites you've been posting to and browsing!! That's interesting. I guess it is more socially acceptable. I say screw socially acceptable!!! You need another outlet, man!!!! Badly!!!

I can figure some out for you I'm sure!!

Hmmmm...This thread an Animals' Right to Privacy has turned out to be more interesting than I would have imagined.

Btw, your picture looks very familiar to me. Have I seen you somewhere before?

Ghs

Yeah, it is interesting and funny too!! It's the same pic that's been up for a very long time. I was posting briefly though on Objectivism Online I think it is a number of years ago but used a different photo I think, different user name too, or may have been the same photo that I use here. But I only posted briefly on that site. I don't even remember my user name and password any longer because it was so brief. It may have been there?!?! Have you posted there before? Maybe that's what it is.

I've never belonged to Objectivism Online, so that's not it. I'm bad with names, but I have an excellent memory for faces. This is really bugging me....

Ghs

Me too, bad with names but great memory for faces. I've never been to any meet up groups or conferences yet, haven't been to ARI yet, etc., so I don't know. OL and OO are the only places I've posted. Oh, wait, I posted briefly on a meet up group site right before coming to OL but that was like 5 years ago or something like that but there was no pic up for my user name. I don't know.

This is the first time I've ever come across you though. I've heard your name in the past but first time to interact with you.

[George H. Smith]

I've never belonged to Objectivism Online, so that's not it. I'm bad with names, but I have an excellent memory for faces. This is really bugging me....

Ghs

Me too, bad with names but great memory for faces. I've never been to any meet up groups or conferences yet, haven't been to ARI yet, etc., so I don't know. OL and OO are the only places I've posted. Oh, wait, I posted briefly on a meet up group site right before coming to OL but that was like 5 years ago or something like that but there was no pic up for my user name. I don't know.

This is the first time I've ever come across you though. I've heard your name in the past but first time to interact with you.

Okay, thanks. I may be confusing you with someone else.

I have been snacking on sherbert all night. I love the stuff, even though it's probably bad for me.

Ghs