George H. Smith

Autumn Romance

Recommended Posts

Some time ago on a different thread, I mentioned my friend Marilyn. Well, Marilyn, who is 10 years my junior, got divorced a while back, so we struck up a serious romantic relationship. Around a decade ago, after my second marriage fell apart, I pretty much decided that I would be a bachelor for the rest of my life. This wasn't a cynical decision; rather, I believed that starting a fresh relationship at my age (65) would involve a number of obstacles, and I didn't know if I had the energy and enthusiasm needed to sustain a romantic relationship.

Well, I was proven wrong. My current relationship is and promises to remain the best I've ever had, by far. I'm convinced that a major reason for this is that Marilyn and I forged a close, solid friendship before becoming entangled romantically.

I'm happier than I have been for many, many years, but I didn't start this thread for the purpose of getting sappy. Rather, having begun relationships at various stages of my life, I found that my age at any given time greatly influenced the outcome. I'm curious whether other OLer's have begun romantic relationships late in life, and, if so, what the results have been and how they differed from earlier relationships.

Marilyn has participated in all of my YouTube videos over the past 2 years, providing introductions for many of them. This is my favorite. While reviewing the various takes, we decided that her spontaneous blooper was probably the best intro to a discussion of happiness. -)

Btw, I discuss Rand's theory of happiness in this part.

Ghs

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Second time round with my lady, she's my stalwart. I put my seven year walkabout down to a scanty awareness then of her true virtues (which I construed as that old personal bugbear, boredom). Sappily, I'm delighted for you, Ghs, for good men who find romance later on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Happiness to you and Marilyn together, George, on and on.

Thanks for letting us know.

Video – fun fidgeting profitable intelligence.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some time ago on a different thread, I mentioned my friend Marilyn. Well, Marilyn, who is 10 years my junior, got divorced a while back, so we struck up a serious romantic relationship. Around a decade ago, after my second marriage fell apart, I pretty much decided that I would be a bachelor for the rest of my life. This wasn't a cynical decision; rather, I believed that starting a fresh relationship at my age (65) would involve a number of obstacles, and I didn't know if I had the energy and enthusiasm needed to sustain a romantic relationship.

Well, I was proven wrong. My current relationship is and promises to remain the best I've ever had, by far. I'm convinced that a major reason for this is that Marilyn and I forged a close, solid friendship before becoming entangled romantically.

I'm happier than I have been for many, many years, but I didn't start this thread for the purpose of getting sappy. Rather, having begun relationships at various stages of my life, I found that my age at any given time greatly influenced the outcome. I'm curious whether other OLer's have begun romantic relationships late in life, and, if so, what the results have been and how they differed from earlier relationships.

"pursuit of an interesting life" sounds familiar :smile:

[more later, I have to pack a lunch and get the kid to school]

Okay, I'm back and listened attentively to 35 mins. of Part 2 and Part 3. We're very different people, you and I, which I'm certain has been established to your satisfaction, to put it nicely. I don't propose to deprecate your scholarship or conclusions. Neither do I envy whatever pleasures might have been produced by them. We agree that there is a broad variability of personalities, each capable of experiencing happiness in ways that seem impossible and preposterous to another man or woman. I'm careful to mention the sexes separately because they have very little in common, aside from a mutual capacity to study, think, and learn to perform productive tasks, which women do with less antler waving than men and which gay men and other members of the priestly caste deem high art regardless of its utility.

I've experienced happiness twice -- first on a sunlit street in North Amsterdam in 1984, which lasted about an hour; then 17 years later in a private setting, the effect of which was deeply transformative and permanent. Although sometimes challenged by brute external threats and occasional frustrations, my enduring happiness was never really lost (so far). The only thing that could kill it would be the death or incurable disfigurement of my daughter. Hopefully, I will pass away long before she does. In fact I'm banking on it, to leave this talented, elegant child in the care of a much beloved, resourceful, courageous wife, who is 13 years younger and far more clever than I am.

My experience of personal happiness led to a conclusion slightly at odds with your notion of "activity."

Although it's tempting to say that happiness is produced in concert -- i.e., a glow of romance or social intercourse -- I think the root of it taps a personal quest. For the man who wants nothing in particular is never satisfied, and the man who wants a preposterously selfish result is never satisfied with anything less. I have been both. I suspect that the arc of life implies both, because we begin as ignorant children, and it takes time to discern which pinnacle is personally mine to renounce as an impossible dream. Happiness, of course, is getting that which was forbidden forever and then suddenly, incredibly mine!

That unequivocal, emphatic predicate of ownership (mine) is the root of all good, provided that it refers to something no one else can share, that no one else wanted or sought...

Happiness is transformative, because it's unexpected. 'Struck on the road to Damacus' begins to state what no man can fully explain without metaphors. Happiness is a free bird in flight, an arrow without target, joy without end, an end in itself. Hegel's 'ground' and Rand's 'passion.' The alpha and omega. God in heaven. Those funny old tarnished conceits point to the real meaning of happiness: an unalloyed experience of Yes to Me...

I'm not speaking of love, which is the sacrifice we willing make for another, or duty, which opens the heart to dignity and bequeaths a kinder, safer world to those who follow (if they have enough courage and perspicacity to earn it). Happiness is neither shared nor teachable, can't be bought or sold on the market. It resides in one heart at a time and only for the time remaining...

I mention this to put paid to all miscellany. Happiness is not mass-produced. It does not arise safely and securely, the cheery product of prudence. Your best interests, individual or collective, most certainly lay elsewhere in the lap of luxury, of certainty and shame. No happy man bows his head or knows what tomorrow may bring. Tomorrow is irrelevant. The old business of life goes on, but with a subtext that nothing can alter hereafter. Enemies have no power to steal it, however harrowing their threat of retribution.

For it has always been exactly so, that happiness is a rebuke of some sort, a whole selfishness that sees no other good except Mine.

[Laissez Faire Law, pp. 149-151]

Good news, George. This will be my last post on OL for many, many months.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My current relationship is and promises to remain the best I've ever had, by far.

Congrats and best wishes!

I've experienced happiness twice -- first on a sunlit street in North Amsterdam in 1984, which lasted about an hour; then 17 years later in a private setting, the effect of which was deeply transformative and permanent.

Sounds like you're describing taking LSD, except for the detail about it only lasting an hour!

This will be my last post on OL for many, many months.

Don't be a stranger. You know you can just pop in, you don't have to post all the time. You were gone for years, then it was like you were back full-time. How about a middle path?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll be looking for a woman if I'll be looking. But not this year.

I think Wolf meant George's good news is good news, not that he, Wolf, won't be posting for a while is good news except for freeing him, Wolf, up for a writing project.

If it happens to me like it's happening to George now I'll come up with info* about the experience.

--Brant

off to Bloomington to steal George's woman

*I take PayPal

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some time ago on a different thread, I mentioned my friend Marilyn. Well, Marilyn, who is 10 years my junior, got divorced a while back, so we struck up a serious romantic relationship. Around a decade ago, after my second marriage fell apart, I pretty much decided that I would be a bachelor for the rest of my life. This wasn't a cynical decision; rather, I believed that starting a fresh relationship at my age (65) would involve a number of obstacles, and I didn't know if I had the energy and enthusiasm needed to sustain a romantic relationship.

Well, I was proven wrong. My current relationship is and promises to remain the best I've ever had, by far. I'm convinced that a major reason for this is that Marilyn and I forged a close, solid friendship before becoming entangled romantically.

I'm happier than I have been for many, many years, but I didn't start this thread for the purpose of getting sappy. Rather, having begun relationships at various stages of my life, I found that my age at any given time greatly influenced the outcome. I'm curious whether other OLer's have begun romantic relationships late in life, and, if so, what the results have been and how they differed from earlier relationships.

Marilyn has participated in all of my YouTube videos over the past 2 years, providing introductions for many of them. This is my favorite. While reviewing the various takes, we decided that her spontaneous blooper was probably the best intro to a discussion of happiness. -)

Btw, I discuss Rand's theory of happiness in this part.

Ghs

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mazel Tov

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All the best George. I enjoy your writing but I'm not qualified to discuss it. You are a master researcher and integrator, perhaps the most valuable person in the search for knowledge. If I look for a signpost to point the way towards a specific issue on liberty you have probably erected one.

Cheers,

Mike

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm curious whether other OLer's have begun romantic relationships late in life, and, if so, what the results have been and how they differed from earlier relationships.

George,

Kat is 11.5 years younger than I am and we moved in together in 2007. That means I started this sucker when I was 57. :)

We did a lot of flirting online and by telephone for over a year before that. You can see what we were up to here (we wrote that together by phone before we actually met fact-to-face):

The Virtue of Silliness

As you must have detected over time (since Kat owns half of OL), we are perfectly happy. This is the best romantic relationship I ever had. There are even kids involved. This one's for the long haul.

I have too many failed relationships to go into right now and no sense getting Kat riled. :) Only one formal marriage because at that time in Brazil, divorce was legally difficult to obtain.

I do want to mention one thing, though. I used to buy into Rand's ideas on romance, specifically using shared values, sense of life, etc. as the main filters for entering a relationship. They didn't work for me and I seriously doubt they work for anyone. I paid my dues far too many times, so I have the scars and credentials to say that.

To be clear, those things can be present, but they are not the fundaments for romantic love. It's corny to say, but love is however it comes. I do believe they are a good foundation for friendship, though. Proof? I am on good terms with all my exes.

Getting back to Kat, I not only let my emotions run as they would, I added a conscious value that I wanted a family and wanted to make this one work come hell or high water. God knows I know how to fuck up a family. I thought this commitment would help when the bad times and bickering came.

To my delight and surprise, Kat and I don't fight. We have had a few minor spats, but never anything serious. And I'm not the easiest person to live with. :)

I am so happy for you in your new relationship. I love that you found love and may it last to the end of your days.

Also, treat Marilyn well as I am sure she has to be quite a special woman to put up with your sorry ass. :)

Michael

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Also, treat Marilyn well as I am sure she has to be quite a special woman to put up with your sorry ass. :smile:

Michael

Boy, you got that right.

Marilyn is driving down from the Chicago area tonight and will stay until Monday. She is bringing a DVD of her favorite movie, "The Addams Family," so we can watch it together. Marilyn says that I remind her a lot of Gomez. That must refer to a side of my personality that most people don't know about. 8-)

Later we will watch an older movie, "The Trials of Oscar Wilde" (starring Peter Finch), that I recorded on my DVR from TMC. I've seen it before and it's quite good.

Ghs

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now