Canadian Politics: Boring beyond Belief, or just Dull and Tedious?


caroljane

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Carol:

I am no transportation expert, but I am sure that even in Canada subways are below ground, hence the word sub and street cars, aka trolleys are above ground on the street level, as per the designated name of "street".

Now following this paradigm, I would think that if you had elevated trains they could possibly be called "Els".

However, being a recovering Objectivist I did my due diligence and discovered the following:

Your being such a good socialist town, you have a Commission for Transit! I was completely taken aback which can be very painful.

The Toronto Transit Commission

Upon further inquiry, you have those street car thingies!

Streetcars

And There are no major disruptions at this time.

It almost sounds like a civilized place!

There was even a story about a Filipino Family Migrating to Toronto

It is said that Toronto has one of the best mass transportation system in the world. Probably even the best. TTC (Toronto Transit Commission) is a public company that is funded mostly by taxes (aside from the high fares). Perhaps you'll find out as I go through a brief overview of the Toronto mass transporation system:

subway.jpg

How did you get this cool looking subway all the way to the Philipines?

Adam

impressed in the lower 48 - could this be the solution to our immigration crisis?

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Carol:

I am no transportation expert, but I am sure that even in Canada subways are below ground, hence the word sub and street cars, aka trolleys are above ground on the street level, as per the designated name of "street".

Now following this paradigm, I would think that if you had elevated trains they could possibly be called "Els".

However, being a recovering Objectivist I did my due diligence and discovered the following:

Your being such a good socialist town, you have a Commission for Transit! I was completely taken aback which can be very painful.

The Toronto Transit Commission

Upon further inquiry, you have those street car thingies!

Streetcars

And There are no major disruptions at this time.

It almost sounds like a civilized place!

There was even a story about a Filipino Family Migrating to Toronto

It is said that Toronto has one of the best mass transportation system in the world. Probably even the best. TTC (Toronto Transit Commission) is a public company that is funded mostly by taxes (aside from the high fares). Perhaps you'll find out as I go through a brief overview of the Toronto mass transporation system:

subway.jpg

How did you get this cool looking subway all the way to the Philipines?

Adam

impressed in the lower 48 - could this be the solution to our immigration crisis?

Adam,

Thanks for the shout-out to my lifeline, the 506 streetcar which stops in front of my door and takes me to work and pretty much everywhere else I want to go.

A fond memory of it was last July 1, Canada Day, it was full of mostly new Canadians returning from various celebrations, some of them a little dazed as it was their first. A little girl on the seat behind me was earnestly practicing the national anthem with her reflection in the window:

"O Canada, we stand on God for thee!"

Guess some of those Canadian Objectivists survived after all.

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Is that the street car named desire?

Edited by Selene
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> About the subway doors, seriously, you are right. Nobody can open the doors except the drivers or guards and in fact I have never seen them opened while the train is in service. I don't know the reason but I will enquire, my son works for the TTC. I am sure there is a good reasonable collectivist explanation.

Carol, "good" and "reason" probably don't apply in this case but I'm sure there -is- a collectivist explanation.

Other than blind inertia. Or that greatest of all bureaucratic explanations: WADITW. Anyhoo, please enlighten us anarchic, disorderly Southern Barbarians what the reason is and if it also applies to locking fire doors on a movie theater so non-paying customers can't sneak in. B)

Edited by Philip Coates
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> About the subway doors, seriously, you are right. Nobody can open the doors except the drivers or guards and in fact I have never seen them opened while the train is in service. I don't know the reason but I will enquire, my son works for the TTC. I am sure there is a good reasonable collectivist explanation.

Carol, I'm sure there is a collectivist explanation other than blind inertia. (Or that greatest of all bureaucratic explanations: WADITW.)

"Reason" and "good" probably don't apply in this case. Anyhoo, please enlighten us anarchic, disorderly Southern Barbarians what the reason is and if it also applies to locking fire doors on a movie theater so non-paying customers can't sneak in. :blink:

Whoa, Phil, we do not think of you as barbarians of any geographic origin, to us you are all just "exotic."

The Locked Door Ministry has taken your information request under consideration and will reply when it is good and ready.

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As we yawn towards our next federal election, knowing that as usual afterwards things will probably get a little bit better, we note that an unusual constitutional legal challenge has been made on behalf of my home province New Brunswick.

I don't understnd it but it seems to be about not having a federal securities regulator, whatever that is. The reason is that New Brunwick did not join Canada of free will but was coerced by England under threats.

Big news. Quebec hardly leapt into the arms of General Wolfe with glad cries. Prince Edward Island, the Cradle of Confederation, stoutly resisted joining Canada for six years. Newfoundland held out until 1949, and says with truth to this day that it was conned and subverted into Confederation.

A nation is a strange animal when it has been created, not just grown from a common root. I think about the need for nations, and the usefulness of nations for their citizens.

America, born of an ideal, maybe has outgrown its need to be a nation. Maybe its ideal would be better served by devolution into states or regions in mutual association. Belgium is doing fine without a national government. If regions can govern themselves and flourish, they remake history in an historical pattern we already know. But with today's sophistication, they could create new patterns, a new and peaceful revolution.

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" What's up with that? Is opening the door and walking into another car still equivalent to farting at a royal wedding in Canada?" [Phil, #125]

Daunce, I'm still waiting for your promised report on the reasoning behind locking the doors between trolley cars in Toronto.

..and if the fire doors are also locked in Canuckistani movie theaters?

Respectfully,

Phil

PS, Don't try to divert our laser-like attention with philosophical musings about the Belgians.

Edited by Philip Coates
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Got my voting card today.

"you're in safe hands with..."

Everybody's message.

We'll carry on carrying on, agreeably argumentative, belligerently baffled, demographically defensive, seraphically smug.

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Got my voting card today.

Slinkronicity. Me too. I wish I was in Surrey North, where I would have a extremely multicultural ballot, from Sandhu to Purewal. As it is my riding offers only fluffy wonder bread.

All I can think is 'Please, gawd, no majority. Please.'

-- the funnest (translated to Yankeespeak: boringest) notion is of a government of the three non-Tory parties in non-coalition. Yes, Monsieur Doucette, you could celebrate the nineteenth year of your separatist party in Parliament with a non-cabinet position as arbiter of federalism . . .

I would love to have a Riggenbach explain the 'they are all the same' in the context of say, Westmount-Ville-Marie or Bourassa. Voting is fun (boring) in Canuckistan!

Edited by william.scherk
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FRATERNAL ORDER OF THE SACRED IGLOO Local 13

Dear Brothers,

As you know we are a nonpartisan apolitical multicultural nonjudgmental rational individualistic collective. In that spirit we speak on behalf of ourselves and of course our Sisters, the Ladies Auxiliary, especially Claudine, in urging you to think deeply before voting in that there election.

Despite their best efforts (which included chasing Prince Harry for several miles) Claudine and the girls could not persuade our despotic current Prime Minister to take Laureen to that wedding, and no reasonable arguments could change his mind, and we ask you do we want such a person in charge of our government.

We say no, we do not, and we join Claudine in not voting for the old meanie.

Make up your own minds, Brothers.

ISS,

Nanook McGuire

Asst assistant to the Grand Shaman pro tem

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  • 2 weeks later...
I know your wife Claudine was an organizer of the Sluts Parade in sympathy with those feminists in Toronto. Did you watch that at the satellite hut? Some of those babes were so hot they were sure making their point whatever it was! And did you get a load of that granny in the weird hat thing and the shawl and not much else?

Note to Adam Selene -- I was quickly searching for the word 'slut' on OL, and found this reference, and queried Carol backstage. It appears she was actually at the Slut Walk, but dressed something like Whistler's Ma. So you might think she did not report, but she did; the canuckistani cultural references were thick in this missive, so no points are taken for missing it.

To return to the subject of the thread starter, boredom and Canucki politics, here are a few items to read over if you find you cannot get to sleep tonight:

-- Canada's youngest-ever MP was elected, aged 19. He hopes to finish his political science degree after his time in Ottawa

-- one of Canada's youngest MPs, Ruth Ellen Brousseau is 'missing.' She was a surprise winner, has yet to visit her riding, did no campaigning, was on a Vegas vacation during the 35 day campaign, and is now in hiding -- said to be cramming French, in an attempt to be able to meet the press -- who have made the search for her a major news item.

-- seven aboriginals (Canada-speak for 'native Americans') were elected MPs. They include an Innu, two Crees, two Inuit, and two Metis.

-- 76 women were elected; 29 'visible minorities' (untranslatable into American ethnoracial bafflegab);

-- the competition for
'Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but how do you pronounce your name
?' is a toss-up between new MPs Rathika Sitsabaiesan, Anne Minh-Thu Quach, and Djaouida Sellah.

Here are those three new ladies of the House:

5uLO.png

Edited by william.scherk
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Thanks William:

Actually I do vaguely remember Carol's reference to a "slut" walk, but relegated it to being one of her convoluted or complicated references. Also, I did skim that thread because lots of the references are not immediately transparent to a non Canadian.

Lol.

Go figure, the Las Vegas Sun carried a story on the Boston "slutwalk crusade" march held today here. No photos.

AP three photos

Natalie Olbrych, center, and Toni Halberg, right, both of Brownsville, Vt., participate in the SlutWalk in Boston, Mass., Saturday, May 7, 2011, which organizers described as a demonstration against those who blame the victims of sex crimes. The walk was held in response to a Toronto police officer who said women shouldn't dress like "sluts" if they wanted to avoid being raped.

Read more: http://www.seattlepi...p#ixzz1LiFE2wPu

And the Boston Herald here.

Adam

Edited by Selene
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FRATERNAL ORDER OF THE SACRED IGLOO\

LOCAL 13

Dear Brothers,

Geez, what can we say? The Secret Plan has succeeded beyond our wildest dreams and two of us here are members of Parliament and have to go to Ottawa,that is OK for you know who with the New Different Name. He says he is fine with Quebec and so on and is bilingual, ha wait till they find out he is bilingual in English and Hebrew but we will not tell because he is a Brother. He says he hopes to be the shadow Minister of Finance because of his experience with our lodge finances, double ha if I may say so.

The other member well you all know is my wife Claudine and they are telling me I have to go down there and be a husband of. She got that attention from the Sluts walk although everybody knows she is not a slut, anyway they elected her. I do not want to be a purse holder like that Harvey who used to make movies, I do not want to be Gord who used to be the assistant shaman and chief mechanic at Canadian Tire. But everyone says it is my duty so I will go but I will not stay there when it gets too hot.

ISS

Gord

I shall return

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FRATERNAL ORDER OF THE SACRED IGLOO\

LOCAL 13

Dear Brothers,

Geez, what can we say? The Secret Plan has succeeded beyond our wildest dreams and two of us here are members of Parliament and have to go to Ottawa,that is OK for you know who with the New Different Name. He says he is fine with Quebec and so on and is bilingual, ha wait till they find out he is bilingual in English and Hebrew but we will not tell because he is a Brother. He says he hopes to be the shadow Minister of Finance because of his experience with our lodge finances, double ha if I may say so.

The other member well you all know is my wife Claudine and they are telling me I have to go down there and be a husband of. She got that attention from the Sluts walk although everybody knows she is not a slut, anyway they elected her. I do not want to be a purse holder like that Harvey who used to make movies, I do not want to be Gord who used to be the assistant shaman and chief mechanic at Canadian Tire. But everyone says it is my duty so I will go but I will not stay there when it gets too hot.

ISS

Gord

I shall return

Gord:

When you return, could you bring back General MacArthur, we are desperately in need of leadership down here in the US.

Thanks.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Gord:

Continuing in my rapid secret series of communiques to you and the brethren:

Can you start to look for secret cloud covered valleys where we can begin purchasing land for the relocation of the community of the Rand. Apparently, your recent change in leadership is making the frigid Northland a much warmer and more attractive option than either floating islands of welded plastic, or, the jungles of Central America.

I draw your attention to the following news article(s) and pay close attention to the last reference which I highlighted in red:

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper Opposes Obama's Pro-Palestinian Border Proposal in G8 Statement

Posted: 27 May 2011 12:53 PM PDT

Harper%20Obama.jpegIsrael's greatest ally in the West is ... Canada?

Going by this Ynet News report, one might be led to think so (emphasis added):

Canadian delegation blocks mention of 1967 lines in Group of Eight leaders' joint statement calling Israel, Palestinians to return to peace talks. Group of Eight leaders had to soften a statement urging Israel and the Palestinians to return to negotiations because Canada objected to a specific mention of 1967 borders, diplomats said on Friday.

Canada's right-leaning Conservative government has adopted a staunchly pro-Israel position in international negotiations since coming to power in 2006, with Prime Minister Stephen Harper saying Canada will back Israel whatever the cost.

Diplomats involved in Middle East discussions at the G8 summit said
Ottawa had insisted that no mention of Israel's pre-1967 borders be made in the leaders' final communique, even though most of the other leaders wanted a mention.

"The Canadians were really very adamant, even though Obama expressly referred to 1967 borders in his speech last week," one European diplomat said.

A spokesman for Harper would not comment on the line Canada had taken, saying only that the final communique would make positions clear.

What a difference a real leader makes. One stands up for true freedom, democracy, common sense, and our only true ally in the Middle East, the other appeases Islam. Via Pamela Geller, here are some much-related links that together spell-out the huge difference between a true supporter of Israel and a phony one - President Barack Hussein "Peace be upon him" Obama:

- Atlas ... Sep 30, 2006 ... BUCHAREST - Prime Minister Stephen Harper sparked a diplomatic flap ... I am so proud of our PM Stephen Harper O Canada - downloadable mp3 ...

: Canada has just ...

Jan 26, 2010 ... But Canada has taken up the slack under the brave stewardship of Stephen Harper. While Obama is busy removing Hamas from the terror list so ...

- Atlas ...

BUCHAREST - Prime Minister Stephen Harper sparked a diplomatic flap Friday on one of his first outings among world leaders after he stood in the way of ..

May 22, 2011 ... Contrast the speech Obama gave with that of Canada's stalwart Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, last November with Obama's
...

Agent Provocateur

#0398409

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Gord:

Continuing in my rapid secret series of communiques to you and the brethren:

Can you start to look for secret cloud covered valleys where we can begin purchasing land for the relocation of the community of the Rand. Apparently, your recent change in leadership is making the frigid Northland a much warmer and more attractive option than either floating islands of welded plastic, or, the jungles of Central America.

I draw your attention to the following news article(s) and pay close attention to the last reference which I highlighted in red:

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper Opposes Obama's Pro-Palestinian Border Proposal in G8 Statement

Posted: 27 May 2011 12:53 PM PDT

Harper%20Obama.jpegIsrael's greatest ally in the West is ... Canada?

Going by this Ynet News report, one might be led to think so (emphasis added):

Canadian delegation blocks mention of 1967 lines in Group of Eight leaders' joint statement calling Israel, Palestinians to return to peace talks. Group of Eight leaders had to soften a statement urging Israel and the Palestinians to return to negotiations because Canada objected to a specific mention of 1967 borders, diplomats said on Friday.

Canada's right-leaning Conservative government has adopted a staunchly pro-Israel position in international negotiations since coming to power in 2006, with Prime Minister Stephen Harper saying Canada will back Israel whatever the cost.

Diplomats involved in Middle East discussions at the G8 summit said
Ottawa had insisted that no mention of Israel's pre-1967 borders be made in the leaders' final communique, even though most of the other leaders wanted a mention.

"The Canadians were really very adamant, even though Obama expressly referred to 1967 borders in his speech last week," one European diplomat said.

A spokesman for Harper would not comment on the line Canada had taken, saying only that the final communique would make positions clear.

What a difference a real leader makes. One stands up for true freedom, democracy, common sense, and our only true ally in the Middle East, the other appeases Islam. Via Pamela Geller, here are some much-related links that together spell-out the huge difference between a true supporter of Israel and a phony one - President Barack Hussein "Peace be upon him" Obama:

- Atlas ... Sep 30, 2006 ... BUCHAREST - Prime Minister Stephen Harper sparked a diplomatic flap ... I am so proud of our PM Stephen Harper O Canada - downloadable mp3 ...

: Canada has just ...

Jan 26, 2010 ... But Canada has taken up the slack under the brave stewardship of Stephen Harper. While Obama is busy removing Hamas from the terror list so ...

- Atlas ...

BUCHAREST - Prime Minister Stephen Harper sparked a diplomatic flap Friday on one of his first outings among world leaders after he stood in the way of ..

May 22, 2011 ... Contrast the speech Obama gave with that of Canada's stalwart Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, last November with Obama's
...

Agent Provocateur

#0398409

It's gratifying to hear our leader praised, and for this. It balances the blame which Mackenzie King will always bear for his antisemitic immigration policies. A third PM, Lester Pearson, was a diplomat before he went into politics and was one of the strongest supporters at the UN of the creation of the State of Israel in 1948.

From what little I know of Pamela Geller however, I hope that attracting her admiration will not stand among the highest of Harper's achievements.

Good news on the valley - we have already identified a location, entirely fogbound year-round, invisible to and ignored by the surrounding countryside, and in desperate need of rational, idealistic inhabitants. It is known as "The Canadian Senate."

Edited by daunce lynam
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My compliments to Gord:

Excellent!

Hiding in plain sight! I refuse to wear those white wigs though!

As to Pamela Geller, I do not know what to make of her. Her website has a beautiful top banner, but she seems to be, um, hmm, quite "unusual." I have asked several times over the last few years whether anyone knows her and whether, if they "know of her," is she a complete wack job, or, a passionate and honest advocate of freedom.

Still haven't gotten an answer. I have not personally run into her in any of my political NY, tri-state circles, which I find quite unusual.

Secretly yours,

Agent Provocateur

#0398409

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My compliments to Gord:

Excellent!

Hiding in plain sight! I refuse to wear those white wigs though!

As to Pamela Geller, I do not know what to make of her. Her website has a beautiful top banner, but she seems to be, um, hmm, quite "unusual." I have asked several times over the last few years whether anyone knows her and whether, if they "know of her," is she a complete wack job, or, a passionate and honest advocate of freedom.

Still haven't gotten an answer. I have not personally run into her in any of my political NY, tri-state circles, which I find quite unusual.

Secretly yours,

Agent Provocateur

#0398409

Brother Adam,

The Iglovian Creed holds that it is possible to be a passionate advocate of freedom and a complete wackjob at the same time. Some of our most respected elders exemplify this axiom. There will be a workshop on this very issue at Polarcon 2012, and I hope you will contribute a lecture. Everybody raved about your talk at the last one. You nailed the question of "Contradictions - do they exist or not?" once and for all in my opinion, which like everybody else's was divided right down the middle.

Keep up the good work. Also, if you see Brother Joel, or whatever he is calling himself now that he is a Member of Parliament and getting a swelled head,please mention those outstanding dues. Claudine says he is not answering his phone, it is always a "parliamentary assistant" who always just happens to sound like most of those women we had to take messages from, and he never paid for the long distance charges either.

And if you see Claudine, of course I trust her completely, she is just there to work and serve the country, but if you see any men hitting on her I think it would be your sacred duty to punch them out.

ISS

Gord

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  • 4 weeks later...

FRATERNAL ORDER OF THE SACRED IGLOO local 13

To: M. Riel,Chairman, Membership Committee

Hey Mackie,

We just got a submission for "emergency membership" from someplace in the States along with a promise of "sizeable donation" and "impeccable intellectual connections" whatever the heck they are, so I am passing it along. This guy hints (well he says straight out) that he wants "to be unjustly incarcerated in the land of his ancestors who include many admirable native peoples and not in the land of despotic vindictive publicity-mad prosecutors" and now that Claudine is an MP and all he says he thinks we can all mutually benefit.

This "emergency submission" came through to the Satellite Hut just when we got the NHL Draft on and it screwed up all the wiring again and we missed the first 3 picks and nobody thinks this joker is Brotherhood material to say the least.

So the Black Knight or Lord or whatever is your problem now, I guess you could check his credit but he doesn.t sound like a good fit to me.

ISS

Gord

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Note to Americans, Insomniacs, Bewildered Browsers and our 3 devoted fans - big shout-out to Raylene in Lawful, N.M!(we'll send you that beavertail recipe soonest!!)

Our media year is not as yours. Yours is essentially, post-elections and pre-elections, with a good sprinkling of scandals. Ours is, hockey season, including the next years' draft, lasting roughly from October to July. We fill up the remaining 2 or 4 months, at least for the last decade, in hating on Conrad Black.

We don't hate him especially for being a crooked businessman, though his crookedness in his native country was of a particularly scornful and spiteful variety. Heck, there isn't that much capital here to be chiseled, and he always said he wanted to "play with the big boys".

We don't hate him for being intellectually superior, and demonstrating that through excellent historical and political writing.We like him a lot for founding a terrific daily national newspaper, in my opinion the best of a good field, which I read faithfully every day.

We certainly don't hate him as a person, because everyone who knows him personally attests that he is a loyal friend, a considerate, warm and principled family man,

We hate him because, by and large, he hates most of us, the "bozos in the warehouse", the "useless bodies" and "jackals" and "mediocrities" who in his view constituted the Canadian workforce, media and polity when he decided to renounce his citizenship in order to ascend to his proper station in life, that of a British Lord.

It's too bad he has to go back to prison, it will only fuel his sense of martyrdom. It struck me greatly that he quoted "If"- the same poem read at Ayn Rand's funeral - at his resentencing hearing. His speech, to me, had a weird echo of Roark's. But what an unworthy echoer.

Ah well, just a few months and we can start hating on the Leafs again. At least Brian Burke does not carry on as if he were King Lear, though maybe he has as much right.

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Scandal has erupted on the Quebec leg of the Canadian honeymoon tour of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

The Duchess has been caught on camera cooking for an official dinner, leaning right over the mixing bowls, without a hairnet.

I, along with all other outraged loyal citizens, of course immediately phoned the police and the Minister of Health, demanding that she be fined and possibly jailed. However, I was reassured that in this case a waiver has been issued to Public Health Regulation 1699-a-paragraph 17 (d) ("In the event of Best.Royal. Hair.Ever....ad infinitum") at the special intervention of the Ministry of Commerce. It seems that any hairs encountered whether in appectizers, mains or desserts whatsoever, will be immediately confiscated by the diners and auctioned on Ebay giving a great boost to the national economy.

The Duke required no waiver, as he does not have any hair.

Also the Duchess will be eating the dinner herself so if she finds a hair, tough on her.

These Royals, who do they think they are. I never got special treatment when the kids used to find hairs in their oatmeal. And it wasn't usually even mine, it was the cat's, but guess who got the blame anyway.

It's all right for some.

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Much has been made of the Duchess's decision not to bring a personal dresser to Canada, although the schedule requires her to change outfits several times a day.

Insiders say however that they are not surprised. Kate has confided that it is William who is "incredibly helpful" to his bride in getting dressed, and undressed, and dressed again, and undressed, sometimes five or six times a day.

Indeed , friends share that she sometimes wishes that "darling Will would not be quite so helpful. We're having a super amazing time of course, but to be honest, there is only so much lying back and thinking of England that one can take."

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To my gracious North American hosts:

Ahem! It is indeed, as they say, a tough job but somebody has got to do it, and with the help and support of you all I am that somebody.

The number of buttons on some of those dresses, honestly you would not believe.

William P

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  • 3 weeks later...

FRATERNAL ORDER OF THE SACRED IGLOO local 13

Office of the Grand Shaman

Dear Brothers:

REFUGEE CRISIS

First off, it is not a crisis. Remember in the Bush years when that whole troupe of American liberals made it all the way up here and we thought they would overstrain our natural resources, but they got good and sick of pemmican and all but two of them went away again,--xxxx

This incursion is just about the weather, they say it is too hot where they live. Well, we know we could always complain it is too cold where we live, and go somewhere else and start demanding special treatment, but we are of the Brotherhood and we don't do that, so we just have to put up with those who do, and make frozen caffe lattes as best we can.

Most of the newcomers are being accommodated in our tradition of hospitality (in tents on Granpa McAloon's woodlot) but there are three cases which are requesting permanent residence and admission to the Order, so they will be considered at the next meeting although they do not have local sponsors:

Kevin, who says he wrote an article about Canada which was favourable though he was a writer for the National Review, and a conservative and so on;

Conrad (again!) old story, but we'll have to listen again, like we don't know it's hot in Florida

Red Becky (don't know her whole story, but she's vouched for by the Grand Shaman who she's staying with, and says where she comes from it's too, too hot for her)

See you at the next meeting,

ISS

Gord

Asst. Shaman

Edited by daunce lynam
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