Told by the Rabbi as part of the Rosh Ha'Shanah sermon:

A Jewish mother has three sons. The first son gives her a gift: a ten room house completely furnished. The second son gives her a brand new big car along with a driver with a five year contract. The third son gives her a giant parrot who can recite the entire Torah.

She gets the gifts and sends thank you notes to her sons:

To the first son she writes: Thank you for the house. But it is a bit much. I only need three rooms to live in.

To the second son she writes: Thank you for the car and driver. I love the car, but I cannot stand the driver.

To the third son she writes: Thank you for that wonderful gift! That big chicken you sent me was delicious.

Ba'al Chatzaf

A Catholic priest was travelling by airplane with his Rabbi friend and the plane crashes. They stagger out of the wreckage. The priest sees the Rabbi cross himself. "Rabbi," cries the priest. "You've seen the light. You've found your way to Christainity!" "What are you yelling about," replied the Rabbi. "You aren't making any sense." "But you just crossed yourself!" "Oh," replied the Rabbi. "Just checking. Specticles, testicles, wallet and watch."

--Brant

Brant; Old joke. Still a good one.

Baal; Very funny!

Well, I heard it in the army in 1966.

--Brant

I think you could have heard in the army in 1866.

I am not 164 years old.

--Brant

So I missed by a couple years.

I moved this to the Humor thread.

Michael