Digital Restrictions — erhm, ummm, "Rights" — Management is slowly being abandoned by the major music labels, though it still keeps leaving long-paying-and-suffering consumers hanging, and it still infests digital video. What if it expanded to other areas? (I found this, uncredited, on Digg.) ~ SR

Dear Consumer:

We would like to thank you for being a customer of the DRM Clothing Store. Unfortunately, DRMed clothing has not been as successful as we hoped, and we will be discontinuing service effective as of noon today.

At the time that we suspend operation, all the DRMed clothing that you have purchased will spontaneously cease to exist.

We appreciate that this may be inconvenient to many of you, particularly to those of you who are currently wearing our DRMed clothing at, say, a business meeting, a funeral, or a formal dinner.

The DRM features in our clothing primarily affect the seams and stitching. If you use a sharp knife to separate your DRMed clothing into separate fabric pieces, and then re-sew the clothing using your own needle and thread, the clothing will continue to function much as it did before. However, you must do so before noon today.

We regret the inconvenience caused to our loyal customers, and thank you for your business. We trust you will look back on your time as a customer of the DRM Clothing Store as an exciting adventure in digital living.

And to those of you who don't receive this message in time, and find yourselves standing stark naked in a crowded subway car, trying to protect your modesty with an empty Starbucks cup and a day-old copy of the New York Post, we'd just like to say:

"DRM Clothing — It's life on the digital edge!"

Yours sincerely,
DRM Clothing Store

PS. No refunds will be issued.