by John Cheese
Cracked
We have all received those idiot emails or letters from Nigeria claiming that some big-shot died, left a lot of money that needs to be claimed by a low-key transfer and, by some miracle, we were chosen to help. This is called a 419 scam and the term comes from a number in the Nigerian Criminal Code. The following entry explains it better than I could: Advance Fee Fraud or 419 Scams.
QUOTE(BBC)
Chapter 38 of the Nigeria Criminal Code deals with 'Obtaining Property By False Pretences; Cheating', and Section 419 within that chapter states:
Any person who by any false pretence, and with intent to defraud, obtains from any other person anything capable of being stolen, or induces any other person to deliver to any person anything capable of being stolen, is guilty of a felony, and is liable to imprisonment for three years.
Nigerian courts use this section of the legal code to prosecute anyone found obtaining money by false pretences or committing fraud. However, a certain type of fraud, know as Advance Fee Fraud, is so prevalent in the country that it has become known the world over as a '419 scam'. Though Nigeria does not have the monoply on this form of fraud, the perpetrators have acquired the moniker 'the Lads from Lagos1', and it is thought to be the fifth largest industry in Nigeria.
Any person who by any false pretence, and with intent to defraud, obtains from any other person anything capable of being stolen, or induces any other person to deliver to any person anything capable of being stolen, is guilty of a felony, and is liable to imprisonment for three years.
Nigerian courts use this section of the legal code to prosecute anyone found obtaining money by false pretences or committing fraud. However, a certain type of fraud, know as Advance Fee Fraud, is so prevalent in the country that it has become known the world over as a '419 scam'. Though Nigeria does not have the monoply on this form of fraud, the perpetrators have acquired the moniker 'the Lads from Lagos1', and it is thought to be the fifth largest industry in Nigeria.
This has spawned an Internet sport called Scam baiting. The idea is to scam the scammer and get him or her to send some picture as proof of legitimacy, except the scammer will be holding a sign with a double meaning (exploiting the fact that these kinds of scammers speak English so poorly). Here is a collection of such photos, for instance, from 419 Eater: The Trophy Room. There are plenty more and other trophies as well. The biggest prize seems to be getting money out of the scammer. The fact that this can be a dangerous sport (some scammers are not nice people and get really riled when they perceive they have been mocked) has made it even more popular.
I haven't looked at this stuff for a while. It has grown since my last incursion into that world. I came across the case in the opening link above and the tears streamed down my face from laughing so hard. This sport has moved out of vulgar double-entendre and become much more subtle. Here is a selection of made-up Bible verses that the scammer accepted as authentic:
QUOTE(Cheese)
"The Lord did bow his head. And he told them, 'Fear not the cycle of burden. For that burden comes with great cycle and without fear of more cycles.'" -Judaith 10:44
"He who sees the light of the Lord shall bow to his lightful mercy. And he who sees the dark of the Devil shall dance the dance of the wicked music long." -Xanadu 1:1:56
"And the Lord did say, 'Take my shoes and do with them what you will. Walk in them. Sell them to friends of money. But do not use them for dancing. My shoes dance only with The Maker.'" -Haknar Jenabzedeh 14:31
"And he ate with glee, the nuts of The Maker." -Dextrose 14:89
"And Jezariqua did tell them, 'Hark unto thee. For I am thou ye'est. Feast in the Lord and pick dry thine thoust.'" -Squancho 7:14
"Wipe clean your nipples of motherhood and enter My Kingdom with clean breasts anew." -Shaniqua 31:12
"The Lord ate his last supper. And the wise men did punch his stomach. And the Lord did say, 'Punch me not, wise followers, for my stomach is full of God.'" -Mixalotius 72:12
"I hope you do not hate me." -Jemeriquaiah 7:19
"If you love the Lord as I love the Lord, you would kill yourself without haste." -Flavaflav 13:69
"He who sees the light of the Lord shall bow to his lightful mercy. And he who sees the dark of the Devil shall dance the dance of the wicked music long." -Xanadu 1:1:56
"And the Lord did say, 'Take my shoes and do with them what you will. Walk in them. Sell them to friends of money. But do not use them for dancing. My shoes dance only with The Maker.'" -Haknar Jenabzedeh 14:31
"And he ate with glee, the nuts of The Maker." -Dextrose 14:89
"And Jezariqua did tell them, 'Hark unto thee. For I am thou ye'est. Feast in the Lord and pick dry thine thoust.'" -Squancho 7:14
"Wipe clean your nipples of motherhood and enter My Kingdom with clean breasts anew." -Shaniqua 31:12
"The Lord ate his last supper. And the wise men did punch his stomach. And the Lord did say, 'Punch me not, wise followers, for my stomach is full of God.'" -Mixalotius 72:12
"I hope you do not hate me." -Jemeriquaiah 7:19
"If you love the Lord as I love the Lord, you would kill yourself without haste." -Flavaflav 13:69
But none of that hit my funnybone as hard as the following, which is my all-time favorite of all made-up scripture anywhere for all time:
QUOTE(Cheese)
"The fires of Heaven will rain down upon the wicked. And the wicked will scream with their mouth holes. And God will laugh." -Constalias 34:18
Oh the pain... the pain...
Michael
