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Roger Bissell
My Spirit's Home
by Roger E. Bissell
1989

Like a beacon in the night,
The sparks from your soul send out their light
And help me not to lose the sight
Of my spirit's home.

Brighter than a sunlit day,
The sparks from your soul wipe out the gray
And help me not to lose the way
Back to my spirit's home.
Mindy
QUOTE(Roger Bissell @ Dec 23 2005, 12:23 AM) *
My Spirit's Home
by Roger E. Bissell
1989

Like a beacon in the night,
The sparks from your soul send out their light
And help me not to lose the sight
Of my spirit's home.

Brighter than a sunlit day,
The sparks from your soul wipe out the gray
And help me not to lose the way
Back to my spirit's home.


I fear that I may be crossing some line of literary etiquette in doing so, but I have a suggestion: Re-write lines 2 and 5 to say, "The sparks of you..." It gives a more regular rhythm, and I think it says about the same thing. Good-feeling poem. Its sincerety comes through, though that's a virtue of your poetry in general.
--Mindy
Brant Gaede
QUOTE(Mindy @ Aug 29 2008, 07:27 PM) *
QUOTE(Roger Bissell @ Dec 23 2005, 12:23 AM) *
My Spirit's Home
by Roger E. Bissell
1989

Like a beacon in the night,
The sparks from your soul send out their light
And help me not to lose the sight
Of my spirit's home.

Brighter than a sunlit day,
The sparks from your soul wipe out the gray
And help me not to lose the way
Back to my spirit's home.


I fear that I may be crossing some line of literary etiquette in doing so, but I have a suggestion: Re-write lines 2 and 5 to say, "The sparks of you..." It gives a more regular rhythm, and I think it says about the same thing. Good-feeling poem. Its sincerety comes through, though that's a virtue of your poetry in general.
--Mindy

You sure did cross the line. You meant lines 2 and 6, not 5. However, the essence of etiquette is lies used as social lubrication. You use it for people you don't care enough for to be friends with but don't want to enemize.

--Brant
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