One of the things that I love about a man and is a huge plus in a relationship for me is how affectionate he is. I love to hold hands or walking together and touching his jeans or arm or putting my hand in his back pocket and resting it there, sweet little kisses, cuddling for the love and affection of it and not expecting sex, loves romance, etc.
I've known too many men as well as complaints from many women that the only time their man touches them is when they want sex. There isn't any affection for affection's sake. There is no more washing the dishes and he comes up from behind, brushes your hair to the side, and kisses your neck gently. No more cuddling. No more holding hands, etc. Come on, guys, a bit more affection would be nice.
This pet peeve is how a man avoids certain questions, denies it, or flat out lies about it. I wrote about this briefly yesterday or the day before on another thread so I figured it would do well here. Women have different reasons for asking this question. But when I personally ask this question, it is more specific in what I am ultimately looking for. And what I am looking for is how honest he is. It is rather annoying when you ask a man if someone is attractive and they either deny it or do whatever they can to avoid the question or straight out lies.
A drop dead gorgeous woman walks into the room and every man in the room notices her as well as some of the women. You look at your guy and you see him watching her. Later on you ask him the question he dreads, "Did you see that girl tonight?" or "Do you think she was pretty?" He either does whatever he can to avoid the question and answering it, denies it, or straight out lies to you about it by saying something such as, "Oh, no, she wasn't pretty at all" or "I didn't notice any girl tonight." You point out and make it as clear as day who you are talking about and you noticed that he was watching her just as everyone else was or what have you and he still goes into the whole denial drill or lying deal. This is irritating. You know, all I am looking for is how honest you are. It's not going to bother me if you found her to be attractive. I am secure with who I am, how I look, what I have to offer, and so forth. I fully understand that you're not dead and neither am I. Just because you are taken doesn't mean you've been stripped of being human and of being a man and aren't allowed to find others attractive and the same goes for myself. It's ridiculous for a woman to be offended or hurt when reality makes itself known when it is confirmed by him that he is a human being, he is a man, he isn't dead and he is capable of finding others attractive still.
It's unfortunate because how he responds is due to conditioning. Men have learned that when this question is asked of them and they are honest they get the 3rd degree and one hell of a backlash for it. Absolutely amazing. So guys have learned to either avoid the question, deny it, or lie about it because of their previous experiences with insecure women. When I ask this question of my guy, there won'e be any backlash. What I am looking for is honesty. That's all. I want an honest man in my life, not one that lies and evades.
Kori brought up another one on another thread and I completely agree with her. On this one, for me, it boils down to honesty again. When I ask my man if I look fat in something, I am looking for an honest answer. If I am going out with him somewhere and wanting to look my best, I want to know if my butt looks too big or if there is another dress that I can put on that he likes me in better and doesn't make my hips or butt look big or whatever is at issue. I am wanting to look nice and sexy for him as well as for myself. He is my baby, my companion, my friend, my lover. He is a man I am sharing my life with. I want to feel sexy for myself and also for my guy because when a woman feels sexy, her attitude changes tremendously. She is more secure, more receptive, more playful. She exudes sex appeal in the way she holds herself, carries herself, etc., and her man benefits from this in many ways. I don't want to walk around with god awful camel toes or my ass looking like it's the size of a city block or whatever. Again, I'm looking for honesty. I want an honest man in my life and not one that lies and evades.
Victor is all of these things and one of the many reasons why I fell in love with him. He is so romantic, affectionate, loving, and most of all honest with me. I finally found a man that has these traits. He values it as much as I do. This is what I want in a relationship.
Edited by CNA, 10 March 2007 - 01:14 AM.
The evil man is the one who, knowing that sex is good, takes pleasure in forbidding it and thus causing men to suffer. ~AR