Effective Parenting For The 21st Century - Not PC


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On a scale of 1 to 100, 100 a being truly insightful statement on effective parenting and 0 being Child Protective Services should be called immediately.

The teenager is a 15 year old girl.

Will the gun, or, the cigarette be the focus of the responses? Or, will the message be the focus?

He is a professional IT person.

What is even more interesting is that he is defending his daughter against the careless comments of folks posting on the Facebook site.

He has already spoken to the local police and he has made his daughter available to social services for them to interview her as to her environment.

This has gotten over 2 million hits in two (2) days.

Your thoughts?

Adam

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Adam,

I was just going to post this, but you beat me to it. I was going to title it, "The Proper Way to Use a Gun in Parenting."

:smile:

I don't know how kids react these days, but this reminded me of some of my pranks I got caught at as a kid. I always took what I had coming as a man, though. I knew I was wrong. :smile:

Michael

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Adam,

I was just going to post this, but you beat me to it. I was going to title it, "The Proper Way to Use a Gun in Parenting."

:smile:

I don't know how kids react these days, but this reminded me of some of my pranks I got caught at as a kid. I always took what I had coming as a man, though. I knew I was wrong. :smile:

Michael

Michael:

This happens quite a lot. The hamburger story you just posted was one that caught my eye also.

Were you going to post it under Parenting or Humor? I thought about humor, but I think there is a really important aspect to this story because of the Southern accent and the knee jerk effete "parenting" of the Northeastern Massachusetts cadres who are going to go catatonic about this.

The fascinating part of the story is that the guy loves his daughter, thinks quite highly of her and is defending her against cheap shots.

I know that I was a handful for my parents because I was extremely outspoken, headstrong and, frankly arrogant and a risk taker which was certainly a concern for any good parents.

I also knew when I was pushing the envelope and when I was wrong.

Adam

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I can understand the father's anger, frustration and hurt feelings (I think virtually every parent who has brought up kids will agree that the puberty years are the hardest part in parenting), but despite the public humiliation he suffered from his daughter's facebook entry, I feel uneasy about the amount of revenge contained in the act he committed.

Taking revenge always means placing yourself at the same level as the target of the revenge. Especially in parenting, where there can be no peer-relationship between caregiver and child, acts of revenge can have traumatic effects. Imagine for example a furious parent would 'take revenge' on his temper-throwing three-year-old by throwing the child's favorite cuddle pet in the trash.

I'm convinced that many acts of child abuse are the result of primitive feelings of revenge which emerged because the parents lost their nerves, and thus have fallen back to a more primitive stage. Civilized behavior is only a thin veener covering a lot of other evolutionary heritage we still carry in us.

The result of the father's revengeful act will in all likelihood be counter-revenge on the part of the daughter.

For she too, like her father, is - going by what she wrote on facebook - full of anger and frustration (which again comes as no surprise, considering the 'emotional roller' coaster fifteen year-olds are on). And she will feel every bit as publicly humiliated as he (probably a good deal more because of her young age).

Acts of revenge never get to the root of destructive feelings but only refuel them, which then can trigger new violent acts.

The following is speculation, but possibly both father and daughter are quite alike in temperament, and thus 'mirror' each other in a way.

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I can understand the father's anger, frustration and hurt feelings (I think virtually every parent who has brought up kids will agree that the puberty years are the hardest part in parenting), but despite the public humiliation he suffered from his daughter's facebook entry, I feel uneasy about the amount of revenge contained in the act he committed.

Taking revenge always means placing yourself at the same level as the target of the revenge. Especially in parenting, where there can be no peer-relationship between caregiver and child, acts of revenge can have traumatic effects on. Imagine for example a furious parent would 'take revenge' on his temper-throwing three-year-old by throwing the child's favorite cuddle pet in the trash.

I'm convinced that many acts of child abuse are the result of primitive feelings of revenge which emerged because the parents lost their nerves, and thus have fallen back to a more primitive stage. Civilized behavior is only a thin veener covering a lot of other evolutionary heritage we still carry in us.

The result of the father's revengeful act will in all likelihood be counter-revenge on the part of the daughter.

For she too, like her father, is - going by what she wrote on facebook - full of anger and frustration (which again comes as no surprise, considering the 'emotional roller' coaster fifteen year-olds are on). And she will feel every bit as publicly humiliated as he (probably a good deal more because of her young age).

Acts of revenge never get to the root of destructive feelings but only refuel them, which then can trigger new violent acts.

The following is speculation, but possibly both father and daughter are quite alike in temperament, and thus 'mirror' each other in a way.

Angela:

As to the red highlighted parts of your post, I believe you are reading into his actions your own judgments. My feeling is that there was no "public humiliation at all."

As he explained, she secreted her message in a new face book page on the family dog in order to communicate with her cadre of friends. He was able to penetrate the veil due to his IT skills. Therefore, this was not "public" to his "public" and therefore there could be no "humiliation."

Classifying his action as "revenge" is, again, reading into it and applying your own personal evaluation. Objectively, this is a re-action to the daughter's action. His calm, clear and clever manner of re-acting to her action is quite Newtonian. It is equal, opposite and clear.

Your comparative example to a three (3) year old fails because you are comparing a person who has attained the age of reason that can be held to account for their actions to a pre-rational human. If the father had done this with a three year old, he would be a nut job.

The fact that this father has gotten so much support for what he did, at least in this country, is indicative of the desire by parents to reassert their role as parents. Being a good parent is not being your child's "friend." It is about instilling in them that they can make their own decisions rationally and that those decisions have consequences, sometimes the consequences are bad. That is one of the key places where you learn. Just as you learn when you, as a child, make the right decisions, based on your own rational judgment, and the decision turns out to be a good one.

I understand your concern because of the use of the firearm, but this is North Carolina and a gun is just a tool. Would you have felt more comfortable if he had used a golf club?

Or, is it the appearance of "violence" that is at issue for you? Is it the tool? Or, is it the act?

Adam

Post Script:

ABC Radio has a quote in the 12:00 PM news that supports your point of view. The "psychiatrist" said that the father's posting of the video publicly embarrasses the daughter and that will create "rage" in the daughter."

Poor little cupcake. We will have to reshape reality to make sure that nothing ever makes her unhappy, stressed or even a little uncomfortable. Yep that will work. I am sure that when she moves into the adult world all her employers/employees will make sure that she is never upset in any way, shape, or form. Utopia will alway surround her being with life's security blanket.

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There are so many things wrong with this guys actions. I don't see a purpose beyond "getting even". The girl vented, so what. The guy is a control freak and obviously doesn't know how to raise a kid. Public humiliation doesn't qualify as a child raising strategy. The misuse of a firearm and the destruction of the girls property is definitely irrational. If he indeed has social services investigate his home and the girl I hope if she requests placement somewhere else they grant it. And why wasn't mom in the video? We are seeing one side only in this video and my intuition tells me this guy is a piece of shit.

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Angela:

As to the red highlighted parts of your post, I believe you are reading into his actions your own judgments. My feeling is that there was no "public humiliation at all."

As he explained, she secreted her message in a new face book page on the family dog in order to communicate with her cadre of friends. He was able to penetrate the veil due to his IT skills. Therefore, this was not "public" to his "public" and therefore there could be no "humiliation."

Adam,

It is true that the daughter did not place the letter to be publicly seen by all, 'only' to her cadre of friends. But even if done on a smaller scale, this is a form of going public as well.

Not only can the number of facebook friends be quite large, several of them may also know her father personally. I have no doubt that in addition to feeling hurt, he also felt humiliated by her act. Hence his retaliating by going public as well, even more than she had, since he put it on YouTube.

Classifying his action as "revengeq" is, again, reading into it and applying your own personal evaluation. Objectively, this is a re-action to the daughter's action. His calm, clear and clever manner of re-acting to her action is quite Newtonian. It is equal, opposite and clear.

Every act of revenge is a re-action to someone else's action.

But since of course not every re-action qualifies as revenge, there have to exist additonal indicators that would point to revenge in the father's act; imo these can be found.

I didn't perceive the father as calm at all. I had more the impression that while he was trying to come across as in control of things, he felt very upset inside.

Your comparative example to a three (3) year old fails because you are comparing a person who has attained the age of reason that can be held to account for their actions to a pre-rational human. If the father had done this with a three year old, he would be a nut job.

I deliberately used the drastic example in an attempt to show typcial characteristics of an act of revenge that can be found independent of context.

Imo these are:

The wish to inflict harm on another person (or several persons) to retaliate for what has been perceived as a serious wrongdoing.

(The perspective of a parent 'taking revenge' by inflicting harm on his three-year-old would indeed be distorted. But since it is typical for child abuse cases that the harm inflicted by the parent is in no proportion to the alleged misbehavior of the child, my guess is that primitive feelings of revenge may factor in there as well, overriding those of protector and caregiver).

It would interest me how Sharon Presley, who is a psychologist, assesses the father's act.

The fact that this father has gotten so much support for what he did, at least in this country, is indicative of the desire by parents to reassert their role as parents. Being a good parent is not being your child's "friend". It is about instilling in them that they can make their own decisions rationally and that those decisions have consequences, sometimes the consequences are bad. That is one of the key places where you learn. Just as you learn when you, as a child, make the right decisions, based on your own rational judgment, and the decision turns out to be a good one.

Parenting is a very tough job, no question. Especially the puberty years are challenging. But then they are very hard to live though for the youngsters as well. And frankly, which 15-year-old isn't 'a handful'?

As for rationality in parenting - can the father's act be called rational, or was it more the opposite? (see also Mikee's # 6 post).

I understand your concern because of the use of the firearm, but this is North Carolina and a gun is just a tool. Would you have felt more comfortable if he had used a golf club?

Or, is it the appearance of "violence" that is at issue for you? Is it the tool? Or, is it the act?

Interesting questions.

While I would not have felt felt more comfortable if he had smashed the laptop with golf-club instead, the gun connotes something the golf club does not. For as opposed to a golf club, a firearm is [except in target shooting as a sport] exclusively designed for destruction. Even if used in self-defense, the goal is to destroy, via the gun, an attacker's power over you.

Therefore the witnessing of the gunshots in the video is a connotatively 'highly loaded' (no pun intended) event.

The message that goes with the use of a gun is: "I have the power to destroy".

So to reply to your above question: it is both the violence and the tool that I find problematic in this context.

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I find the reactions here fascinating.

Having been physically beaten as a kid, I don't find the father's response excessive at all. I find it creative. I wish my parents had done that kind of stuff instead of using a belt as a whip.

Different perspectives based on different experiences, I guess.

It is true, though, that I don't do anything like what that dude did in dealing with my step-kids, and I didn't with my own when I was with them.

Michael

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I find the reactions here fascinating.

Having been physically beaten as a kid, I don't find the father's response excessive at all. I find it creative. I wish my parents had done that kind of stuff instead of using a belt as a whip.

Different perspectives based on different experiences, I guess.

It is true, though, that I don't do anything like what that dude did in dealing with my step-kids, and I didn't with my own when I was with them.

Michael

Getting back revenge oriented behavior is inherently destructive. It's not good parenting. Dad introducing a gun and using it in this situation compounds it all. That's gross misuse of a firearm and intimidating.

--Brant

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I'd bet the problem grew out of lack of daughter-father communication in the first place. Dad is an immature-ass control freak with a gun for a penis.

--Brant

I too originally wanted to comment on the 'phallic' aspect of using the gun (and possibly also the cigarette), but since I was curious to see if others would interpret it the same way, I decided to wait.

There are so many things wrong with this guys actions. I don't see a purpose beyond "getting even". The girl vented, so what. The guy is a control freak and obviously doesn't know how to raise a kid.

Control freak is a pretty good guess. His detailed instructions as to how to tidy up the kitchen made me think of that too.

What also raised red flag for me was that he said the daughter had been grounded for three months (!!). "Grounded" - does that mean not being allowed to leave the house to see your friends, go to the cinema, etc.? If yes, then the girl was restricted from seeing her friends and from other spare time activities outside the home for a quarter of a year?? Imo this is a form of imprisonment.

And why wasn't mom in the video?

Since the father mentions the daughter's "stepmother", the girl probably does not live in the same household with her birth mother, but with her father and his current wife.

One bullet that he shot into the computer he claimed to be from her "mother" though.

My instincts say “balloon boy”. This smells like a ploy to get on reality TV. If not, the odds of this girl committing suicide are pretty bad. No doubt she has access to firearms!

http://en.wikipedia....iki/Balloon_boy

As always, I'll stand corrected, but I think it it was real.

For if it was a hoax, the father would have had to engage the daughter as a willing participant in it (for if she was clueless, she certainly would publicly have cried 'foul play' by now!) - and frankly, which fifteen-year-old would participate in a hoax presenting to the public such a bad image of her?

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Angela:

As usual, your systematic approach is solid and well articulated.

I will be making a more detailed response once I check on some aspects about this video.

However, let's assume that rather than destroy the laptop, he had:

1) calmly taken out her hard drive and put it in his pocket;

2) placed a new hard drive in the laptop; and

3) had someone from a local children's hospital, or school take the laptop as a charitable donation.

How would you have approached his messaging with that approach?

Adam

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As always, I'll stand corrected, but I think it it was real.

For if it was a hoax, the father would have had to engage the daughter as a willing participant in it (for if she was clueless, she certainly would publicly have cried 'foul play' by now!) - and frankly, which fifteen-year-old would participate in a hoax presenting to the public such a bad image of her?

Indeed, though balloon boy didn't appear until the press conference. I said it was my instinct speaking, remember I'm the suspicious type who reads novels by Eco and Pynchon.

One other thing, did the guy put on proper eye protection before firing that gun? Shooting at a laptop, with all those metal parts, from such close quarters? The danger of getting hit by ricocheting bullet fragments seems like something the guy ought to have been concerned about. He said they were hollow point, but did I hear him say "exploding rounds"?

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As always, I'll stand corrected, but I think it it was real.

For if it was a hoax, the father would have had to engage the daughter as a willing participant in it (for if she was clueless, she certainly would publicly have cried 'foul play' by now!) - and frankly, which fifteen-year-old would participate in a hoax presenting to the public such a bad image of her?

Indeed, though balloon boy didn't appear until the press conference. I said it was my instinct speaking, remember I'm the suspicious type who reads novels by Eco and Pynchon.

One other thing, did the guy put on proper eye protection before firing that gun? Shooting at a laptop, with all those metal parts, from such close quarters? The danger of getting hit by ricocheting bullet fragments seems like something the guy ought to have been concerned about. He said they were hollow point, but did I hear him say "exploding rounds"?

Dennis:

Have you fired many weapons?

Adam

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Have you fired many weapons?

Not "many", but I've fired rifles, shotguns, and handguns. I'm no expert. Eye protection was a big deal at the places I've gone to practice. Also ear protection, but this guy was firing outside, that makes a difference.

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Have you fired many weapons?

Not "many", but I've fired rifles, shotguns, and handguns. I'm no expert. Eye protection was a big deal at the places I've gone to practice. Also ear protection, but this guy was firing outside, that makes a difference.

Exactly as to being outdoors..

Additionally, at the distance and the angle there was virtually no chance of any probability of ricochet. The ground looked quite soft also. The hollow points spread as they meet resistance and that would be well into the ground.

However, I agree with you, it was not a handgun safety video at all.

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Additionally, at the distance and the angle there was virtually no chance of any probability of ricochet. The ground looked quite soft also. The hollow points spread as they meet resistance and that would be well into the ground.

Keep in mind what a computer looks like on the inside. There's a hard disk encased in metal, with other components of all kind of shapes nearby. I wouldn't worry about the whole bullet ricocheting, but a fragment? It probably wouldn't have much energy left by the time it plugged him in the knee, but my that would have been a comic ending!

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So anyway, how about taking this family, and the guy who belted his daughter while she kept the camera running, and they go on "Wife Swap". Or make it husband swap, you get the idea. I sure as hell wouldn't watch, but plenty of people would. It might even beat Maury Povich!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5aP9as3Wb4&feature=related

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As always, I'll stand corrected, but I think it it was real.

For if it was a hoax, the father would have had to engage the daughter as a willing participant in it (for if she was clueless, she certainly would publicly have cried 'foul play' by now!) - and frankly, which fifteen-year-old would participate in a hoax presenting to the public such a bad image of her?

Indeed, though balloon boy didn't appear until the press conference. I said it was my instinct speaking, remember I'm the suspicious type who reads novels by Eco and Pynchon.

One other thing, did the guy put on proper eye protection before firing that gun? Shooting at a laptop, with all those metal parts, from such close quarters? The danger of getting hit by ricocheting bullet fragments seems like something the guy ought to have been concerned about. He said they were hollow point, but did I hear him say "exploding rounds"?

Dennis:

Have you fired many weapons?

Adam

You can shoot laptops all day with .45 cal ACP without eye protection. Set it up correctly. Ear protection is another matter, but it's not necessary for field use. Use it for target practice. These rounds don't "explode." They fragment. Fragmented bullets don't bounce about, solid points do. Military bullets are "Full Metal Jacket." Not hollow point. Why? So they keep on going, through brush and bodies. Two wounded enemy is better than one dead enemy. However, Dum Dum bullets were outlawed by the Geneva Convention anyway. But, the .223 varmint round fired from the M-16 in Vietnam was just as bad because of its high velocity. E=MC2. A 30-06 or like 7.62 NATO (M-14) round would perforate the target doing only X amount of damage because most of the energy was not released inside the target. The .223 M-16 left most of its energy in the target, like the DUM DUM. A .223 will blow off a man's head at close range. At a longer range, with the velocity diminished, maybe not.

--Brant

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Here's another view of parenting for those who pity the lot of the spoiled little girl who sticks her tongue out at her hot-headed daddy in public and he takes her candy away, shoots it and scolds her in front of everybody.

In my view, the following is a real problem. A serious one. Not the girl's spat with her dad.

I follow the videos of a person who left Scientology. For some damn reason I resonate with her. She probably reminds me of someone from my past, same generation, or whatever. It doesn't matter. Tory comes off as a really good person and I enjoy watching her speak.

Gentle guts to stand and do the right thing and keep on doing it.

She just made a video about a report out of Syndey. I'll give her video first, then the report (which is also featured in The Village Voice here).

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/RHv8BwQDd2M?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/78XZEPOhptA?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Now look at that kid. Does he look sane? Healthy? Normal? Yes, yes and yes. But would anyone in their right mind (outside the cult) want to do to their kid what was done to him?

I say this makes an excellent contrast to the Facebook brat and her sturm und drang in a teapot with her dad.

Something to think about.

(btw - The girl's father was visited by both the cops and child services. Apparently the cops said "kudos" to him and child services found nothing to be concerned about. For those interested, you can read about it here.)

Michael

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Tommy Jordan [he is the Dad in the video] from his Facebook page:

Media Corrections (Specifically to the DailyWh.At) article:

You do a great disservice to the current military men and women who serve this country by referring to me as a "former Marine" in your article. While it is true that I possess a military discharge (medical, for a stupid knee problem that went away on its own) I was NOT an active duty United States Marine, and your use of that label greatly diminishes those who were and are. If you're fact-checking far enough back to have my service record, you should at least read it before posting something like that. I have friends who are US Army, US Marine, and US Air Force, and lumping me into the same category as those people who HAVE risked their lives for the country is pretty low. And you KNOW you used it for shock-value. Shame on you!

I actually DID try to go back into the US Army last year, but thanks to a Navy corpsman with poor penmanship skills who can't tell a "P" from an "F" on my paperwork, the US Army won't consider me. (yet another reason we shouldn't take writing out of the school system)

Believe me; I took my military enlistment attempt all the way to congress to get it overruled, but it seems I'm not destined for that route. So for that reason as well, I don't appreciate that intentional mis-categorization.

SECONDLY:

I love how your article claimed the police said I was "outside police jurisdiction." I'm 100% sure you didn't get a police officer on record saying ANYONE was "outside police jurisdiction!"

You might have more accurately stated that I live outside their department's jurisdiction, which is correct. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you're too ignorant to actually be familiar with the gun laws in the locale you're writing about, so I'll clarify for you. If you live "outside city limits" in most counties in NC, you can shoot pistols on your property, shotguns, rifles, etc. You can pretty much fire off anything short of a rocket propelled grenade and you're not breaking the law unless you harm someone else doing it.

So no, NONE of the local police powers are going to respond to something they can clearly see online is NOT a violation of ANY law.

So... for the love of God, get your facts straight the next time you write an article about ANYONE. Your lack of respect for the professional tenets of journalism leave much to be desired.

=======================================================

It's really amazing, to see how "news" gets spun from the from the other end of the limelight. I'm not talking about any of the video stuff, parenting concepts or anything else... just watching "pure fact" get created out of thin air is amazing. Makes me wonder how much of the news I usually read should be doubted. I've never been on the other end of the news before, so it's different when I actually KNOW the facts and can compare them to the information flying around.

=================================================

I'm NOT running for President, have no intention of running for President, and would probably make a crappy president because.. never mind why. That'd just open another can of worms! lol

But hey... that Ron Paul dude.. he's got my vote. I like his politics and I think he's got the best head on his shoulders I've seen in a politician in my lifetime. Agree/disagree.. doesn't matter. I just thought I'd put my vote behind him.

(Now I'll be accused of political campaigning too. lol.)

=================================================

The more I read about him, the more convinced I am becoming of a theory.

Still not sure yet.

Adam

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Well, well - Now this post by him will answer a lot of questions that we all had.

Update:

This may come as a wild shock to some.. wait for it.. wait.... (I need that guy who did the awesome HD youtube parody to do me an intro here. Where is he when I need him?)

I'm NOT a hero... of ANY kind... at all.

I'm not a super-dad, or awesome parent.

I'm a normal guy with reasonable a moral compass that I try very hard to keep pointed north. I make a LOT of mistakes. Did I say a LOT? I mean a WHOLE lot! Daily... sometimes hourly!

I'm extremely lucky to have a very strong wife who tolerates me and puts up with my mistakes, and who herself is strong enough that she can put me in my place with only a look.. no really.. you haven't seen her "I'm not kidding anymore" face... it's serious.

(For example I can apparently destroy a laptop and garnish world-wide attention in mere seconds, but I guarantee tomorrow morning my wife will say "Hey Chuck Norris. Make the freakin BED WILL YOU PLEASE" because I'll forget to.

(I have to admit the "Chuck Norris wears Tommy Jordan pajamas" comment will stay with me for the rest of my life. I want that on a bumper sticker!)

I'm lucky to have great kids (two of them) who look up to me despite all my mistakes.

I make bad parenting decisions all the time. We all do. Personally, I stand behind the decision I made earlier this week by posting the video. I don't find fault with it. If I had it to do again... let's see... I'd do it almost the same.

I'd not be smoking a cigarette. (That's a habit I promised my wife I'd quit as soon as I could afford to just go out and buy a Chantix prescription. She absolutely hates it and I'm getting mature enough to want to quit it for my own reasons as well.)

I'd not have used the word "ass" in my comment directed at my daughter. That was rude and a bad example of a parent using the "Do as I say, not as I do" philosophy

I'd have worn my Silverbelly Stetson, not my Tilley hat if I'd known that image was going to follow me the rest of my life and I'd probably have cleaned my boots.

That's it. I meant all the rest of it. My wife is OK with it. My daughter is OK with it. My Mother is OK with it. I'm OK with it. We're the only ones that matter.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For those that feel the need to keep calling the police and CPS. lol

Apparently both the local police and the department of social services are OK with it. Yes they came. Of course they came. They received enough "Oh my god he's going to kill his daughter" comments that they had to. I knew that the moment it went viral.. it was too late and it was inevitable. I'm only surprised it took as long as it did to be honest.

The police by the way said "Kudos, Sir" and most of them made their kids watch it. I actually had a "thank you" from an entire detectives squad. And another police officer is using it in a positive manner in his presentation for the school system. How's about those apples? Didn't expect THAT when you called the cops did you?

The kind lady from Child Protective Services looked all through the house, the yard, and found ours to be a healthy home. She saw the unloaded guns in their rack with the magazines removed and stored separately and safely. Funny thing: The case officer asked to see "the gun".... "Umm, sir, may I see the actual..umm.. weapon used for the video?" She wasn't at all scared of me but I could tell she doesn't like guns as a general rule. To each their own though. She was comfortable that I was adhering to NC gun safety regulations for the protection of minors, and that's all she needed. But of course if you want to continue, I'm just going to leave a pot of coffee on for the next officers who come by. (Digress: Maybe I can get Krispy Kreme to sponsor me with lifetime donuts? Oh God that would be heaven. Dunkin? Crap... KK all the way....)

She asked if I minded if she interviewed my daughter privately but that I didn't have to agree. I let her meet in private and then she and I met for about an hour and a half. At the end of the day, no I'm not losing my kids, no one's in danger of being ripped from our home that I know of, and I actually got to spend some time with the nice lady and learn some cool parenting tips that I didn't know.. I use them on my 8 year old son, but not on my fifteen year old daughter.. but now I will! There were a few things I thought she was "too old" for, but after talking to the case worker, I feel like it's worth a shot to try them. Maybe I'll sell those secrets in my next book! (Seriously? You just got mad didn't you? I'm kidding. Besides, that would still only give me two pages of material- one parent tip page and one page on handgun selection techniques appropriate for different electronic destructive purposes.)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back to me being a normal guy... I digressed again.

You guys caught me on eight and a half minutes of ONE day in my life, probably the worst day in my life as a father. So, all in all, I consider the vast overwhelming show of support to be very very gratifying... that was me at my worst, not my best. If most of you found me OK as a Dad at that time, then I'm definitely OK the rest of the time. I was angry, hurt as hell, emotional as can possibly be, and stunned still. I'd taken an hour to compose myself, but apparently I should have waited longer.. and maybe used the .22 instead of the .45. (And since when does an 8 minute video EVER go viral? And maybe the next video I'll do will be auctioning the pistol I used.. that should buy some serious college tuition, but please understand that I will definitely use the profits to also purchase a replacement .45.)

I'd like to think that if a camera followed me around and filmed every moment of my life as a parent, most of you out there would still put me in the plus column. Truthfully most of you would probably be bored. I'm just ordinary. I was raised old fashioned, and I raise my kids the same way... the modern generational concepts be damned!

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And OK, so THAT brings me to a topic I'll close with, though I had no intention of speaking on it when I started this rant. (Hey, aren't the 25 thousand of you who subscribed really regretting it now? I'm always this scatter brained. Makes you wonder how I formed enough sensible sentences to write a book doesn't it? Then again... maybe that accounts for the book sales being in the toilet...)

So, my last point:

I've received a LOT of comments (and by lot you have to understand there's literally MILLIONS of them. I'll likely never be able to read them all in my lifetime) pointing out that I was raised old fashioned apparently that that I needed to learn to be a parent in today's world.

Umm.. is there a polite way to call bull***t!?

The kids today ARE self entitled, spoiled, adverse to working, and basically have NO usable skills taught to them in schools. (Yes some of you out there excel. If you've graduated high school and at least pay some of your own bills, then I'm not talking to you. If you however are 25 and live with your parents because you're too lazy to get a job, then yes, I'm talking to you. Half of that is the parent's fault for thinking that the school system is supposed to raise their kids. The other half is a parent's fault for letting our school systems get to the utterly pathetic state they are in. It's your kid.. so no matter what it's ALWAYS your fault.. get it?

I'll give you a real example from the NC school system. My daughter just finished Honors Geometry in school. Halfway through the semester she asks me "Dad, can you help me type this math problem into your graphing calculator? I can't get the equation to come out right." I said "sure" and went over to help out. The problem was about calculating the tangent of a line, but I can't remember the specifics of it at the moment. I took a look at it and said "Honey, why don't you just do the problem manually... you know, on a piece of paper? It's pretty easy."

She honestly looked at me like I was a complete idiot! "You can't do it with a pencil and paper, Dad. Sheesh!"

I stared at her dumbfounded. "Honey, you DO know that tangential math has been around since the 1600s, right? Over 500 years. Long BEFORE graphing calculators existed..., right?"

Her response was "Well, we're not taught that. We're just taught how to enter it into a calculator and get the right answer."

Absolutely SURE she must be crazy, I checked.... and she's right. HONORS mathematics at the high school level doesn't teach kids basic math principles. At all!!! If a modern honors geometry student had to calculate the distance of a line from the top of a flag pole to any point in space relative to the ground.. they have no idea how to do it. (How many of you just asked your kids to show you how to do that? Wait... how many more are Googling it right now? Stop. That's cheating.)

Further, almost every state now is taking "writing" out of schools. Kids are now being taught to print, and that's it. No need for actual writing because they all have computers. I'm NOT making this up! This is TRUE!! They learn the alphabetic characters... and nothing more. The age of eloquent thought borne by patient strokes of pen to paper... are gone like Rhett Butler's sex appeal.

So let me recap... you don't learn math, you don't learn to write actual words without the benefit of spell-check. You don't apparently learn grammar either because I've SEEN those text books and quizzes.. horrible.

Yet you want ME to stop raising MY child with old fashioned methods that actually made me fairly intelligent, capable of fending for myself, capable of managing money, holding a job, respecting my elders, etc?

So you can replace it with what? You want to teach kids it's OK to talk back to parents as long as they have the freedom to express themselves. You want to outlaw spankings. You've obviously made it OK for them to be stupid upon graduating high school. You've recently made it illegal for kids to work around any animal that can harm them under the age of 18, to include working in hay lofts, around dogs, or cats, horses, or cattle, etc. (Thanks for that law Obama.. idiot) You won't let them work in a restaurant that serves alcohol until 18 in most states. You won't let them work at ALL until 15 (It was 13 for me, but Dad lied and got me started when I was 12). When are they supposed to learn actual adult stuff exactly? When do they learn responsibility? No kid left behind? Pfft.. EVERY kid left behind! (Dang I'm mad now.. maybe I WILL run for President... no, wife already vetoed that one. I'd really love to though.. really, seriously!)

"Modern" parenting raises ill-prepared kids who can't do anything and have no skills because they're protected from even LEARNING them until 18 years old, at which time you want us parents to throw them out into the world, send them off to college, and expect them to be productive members of society? You can take your "modern" parenting, and shove it. Jeezus people. Half of you think chores at 15 are too much! God forbid we make them actually WORK too!

(packing my soapbox away and going to bed now)

Well, at least Angela was right onhim being angry and hurt.

Interesting man.

I like him.

Adam

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Correct, maestro.

As the father of a daughter, she knew that same concept about me, down to every cell in her body.

What you just wrote reminds me of another situation. My lady of seven years had three children. Her oldest daughter was really bright and very attractive.

We were all at a Christian Community Youth hangout run by a really nice couple. Food, pool, pinball and other arcade games and music.

A safe place in the Panhandle of Florida.

So, I was outside smoking a cigarette and leaning against the car. Her daughter was being "hovered" over by a young man and definitely up to no good. As a guy, I could read his moves from about forty (40) feet away.

I had on a three quarter length black leather coat and everybody knew I was the Italian guy from NY City.

At any rate, I was boring holes through this dudes chest with my eyes. All of a sudden he kinda increased his distance from her.

She tilted her head at him and then with a big smile on her face walked over to me and said, "Geez, he wants to know if you have a gun! He is really scared." I told her to tell him that I did and if he touches you again I will shoot him in the kneecaps." She laughed and thanked me.

She went back and told him and he turned so white in the moonlight that I thought he was going to faint.

It worked.

She thanked me all the way home.

Adam

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