Romance – Are you looking?

[Danneskjold]

I'm still looking anyways.

Aaron, you wouldn't be so willing to have my relationships if you weren't able to drive and therefor weren't able to see them. Lol.

[Jehni125]

My boyfriend is going to college in Colorado and I'm going to school in Missouri. We tried to do the long distance thing but he got really perinoid after the first week (aftera couple of months it started getting to me too!). I guess it wasn't ment to be...

[studiodekadent]

Not particularly interested in anything apart from friends.

Of course, Im happy to engage in various forms of intimacy with said friends, however they are still friends. Closer relationships simply 'do not compute' with me.

[Peter Grotticelli]

-

Edited August 15, 2007 by Peter Grotticelli

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

I want to research embryonic stem cells someday. I can't make embryos alone.

Peter,

LOLOLOLOL...

Dayaamm! That was funny!

I do hope you have a moment or two for love between your studies. One suggestion. I would not use that as a pick-up line.

Michael

[Peter Grotticelli]

-

Edited August 15, 2007 by Peter Grotticelli

[Steve Gagne]

31 years with the same woman -- 29th anniversary of making it official was this past week.

Tried to interest her in TVOS and Anthem when we first met. Her mother found the books, and spent years trying to get her to break up with that "horrible immoral creep who reads that garbage." Mother-in-law even succeeded in getting the wedding cancelled & convincing her side of the family I did it. So my wife showed up with her suitcase at the door of my artist's loft apartment in alphabet city in NYC, and said "We're getting married! Now!" I said OK. So we went down to the NYC Municipal building, and President Jimmy Carter was there, and he wouldn't let us get married, either. So we had to wait a day for him to go away. Got us a great little "you'n'me agin' the world" thingy going which lasted nearly 15 years. Daughter now grown, married, & out of the house, 1st son graduating from HS this school year, 2nd son graduating HS the next school year w/AA degree at the same time (dual enrollment). Like me, none of them know what they want to be when they grow up.

[Chris Grieb]

Steve;

Your story was inspiring and interesting.. I guess the only question is "Do you think it will last."

[Matus1976]

Not particularly interested in anything apart from friends.

Of course, Im happy to engage in various forms of intimacy with said friends, however they are still friends. Closer relationships simply 'do not compute' with me.

An odd sentiment I think. Intimacy without close relationships does not computer with me. Holding hands, kissing, the tenderness in love making, these are not things one does with 'friends' who are not close to them. I don't quite see how that can jive with a pyschologically healthy attitude about relationships. Sounds more hedonistic than anything else.

Anyway, I'm looking. Ladies? hello? hello? (echos reverberate...)

[studiodekadent]

An odd sentiment I think. Intimacy without close relationships does not compute with me. Holding hands, kissing, the tenderness in love making, these are not things one does with 'friends' who are not close to them. I don't quite see how that can jive with a pyschologically healthy attitude about relationships. Sounds more hedonistic than anything else.

By "close relationships" I am referring to situations where the other person is around me all the time. I need my personal space and my independence. That does not mean I cannot value the other person dearly.

[RTB]

Now that the Romance Room is open, I thought I should put up a poll to see where people are romantically. I think most people on OL are involved with someone, but the ones who are looking for a match should definitely make it known. Feel free to introduce yourself or post dating profiles in the romance forum.

Kat

(engaged to MSK)

There's no singles button...at the time I reply.

[Selene]

Thanks for the congrats, Kori. I guess I figured everyone knew about us since we've had our story up since starting OL. The long-term long-distance thing has been a royal pain in the petutti, but we are committed to make it work, get married and build a life together. Soon.

Jeff, don't worry about always having to be in a relationship. You have enough going on with school, sports, etc. and probably don't need the drama anyway. Enjoy being alone for awhile and not having to answer to a teenaged girl. If you connect with a girl you like, cool, go out, but take things at a comfortable pace and don't feel you need a date every weekend or to even experience a serious relationship or love at your age. Take your time, you have lots of it.

Kat

Excellent answer. Perfect.

And a belated congratulations.

Adam

[RTB]

Thanks for the congrats, Kori. I guess I figured everyone knew about us since we've had our story up since starting OL. The long-term long-distance thing has been a royal pain in the petutti, but we are committed to make it work, get married and build a life together. Soon.

Jeff, don't worry about always having to be in a relationship. You have enough going on with school, sports, etc. and probably don't need the drama anyway. Enjoy being alone for awhile and not having to answer to a teenaged girl. If you connect with a girl you like, cool, go out, but take things at a comfortable pace and don't feel you need a date every weekend or to even experience a serious relationship or love at your age. Take your time, you have lots of it.

Kat

Excellent answer. Perfect.

And a belated congratulations.

Adam

There's still no 'single' button. And a button for divorced folks would be nice too.

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

RTB

It's an older poll, so it is not good to mess with options. That screws up the results. I agree that a "divorced" button would be nice. Still, it sort of fits here:

Recently broke up or in a stale relationship and want to move on

The following is presumed single:

Actively seeking Mr. or Mrs. Right - FIX ME UP!!!

The following is presumed single:

Just having fun, don't want to settle down...want to meet many people

The following is explicitly single:

Not interested or not ready to date right now. Happily single

Michael

[RTB]

Are u seeing a couple of different things than me? I've noticed a discrepancy in the things we are talking about.

[Michael Stuart Kelly]

RTB,

I'm not single. I am already taken.

Michael

[Kat]

This is a fun thread to go back and look at as I haven't read it in awhile.

Too bad the big romance of the century didn't pan out, but he turned out to be an extremely dishonest person, lying to her, the world, and most importantly, himself... and that is no way to build a life partnership. A romance cannot be built on a dishonesty. She dumped him soon after they finally met face to face. Unfortunately, the other big long-distance romance in the Objectivist forum world didn't last either, so I sincerely hope that 2008 will be a better year for Objectivists to make connections romantically. My advice is to arrange to meet as soon as possible if there is a romantic interest. You have to meet ASAP before gettting too seriously involved. I know I didn't follow my own advice very well; it took us roughly two months to meet... but we're special!

Love can happen online. It does happen. Michael and I met nearly three years ago on another forum. I was in Chicago and Michael was in Florida. We were planning to meet at an upcoming Newberry opening in Tennessee on Mothers Day. It turned out that Mothers Day was not cool as Michael had been in Brazil for over 30 years and hadn't spent Mothers Day with his mom for three decades... so our meeting was delayed for a couple of weeks, but we met and it was great. I knew immediately he was the one...

I have always hated Chicago winters and wanted to go down there to live where it is warm and sunny. That turned into a legal nightmare because of so-called joint custody where I need my deadbeat ex-husband and the court to approve a move out of the county and the ex refused to cooperate. In the meantime, I landed a good job and Michael's dad had a stroke. Neither one of us was really able to move, but we communicated several times a day. We did the long distance thing for nearly two years, and almost exactly a year ago, Michael got a one-way ticket to Chicago. That's how "The Virtue of Silliness" worked out... happily ever after... just the four of us... freezing our butts off in Chicago! :brr: :brr: :brr: :brr:

* * * * * * *

Anyway, back to the poll options. The first two choices are if you are taken and the rest are for singles. The single categories are based on level of interest in finding someone rather than marital status such as divorced, never married, etc. We want people to connect so let it be known if you are looking. You can't win if you don't play the game.

Who will be the new Objectivist couple of 2008? Watch and see!

Kat

[RTB]

RTB,

I'm not single. I am already taken.

Michael

I'm flattered but I'm really in love with women. They have that whole 'hips' thing that captures my attentions. :-P

[CNA]

Kat said:

Too bad the big romance of the century didn't pan out, but he turned out to be an extremely dishonest person, lying to her, the world, and most importantly, himself... and that is no way to build a life partnership. A romance cannot be built on a dishonesty. She dumped him soon after they finally met face to face.

Ain't that the truth, a loving and lasting relationship cannot be built on deception and lies. It greatly damages trust in the relationship and how one views the one that was dishonest. You are most correct, Kat, the relationship ended soon after we met and very thankful it did.

Kat said:

Unfortunately, the other big long-distance romance in the Objectivist forum world didn't last either, so I sincerely hope that 2008 will be a better year for Objectivists to make connections romantically. My advice is to arrange to meet as soon as possible if there is a romantic interest. You have to meet ASAP before gettting too seriously involved. I know I didn't follow my own advice very well; it took us roughly two months to meet... but we're special!

I'm sorry to hear about the other failed online romances that were going on as well. Hopefully 2008 will be a much better year for those that make the connection and I wish them the best. Most definitely meet ASAP as Kat suggested if at all possible and given your circumstances at the time such as passports, etc. The physical being as we all know is crucial in concretizing how the person is in real life and what they truly value. Always check for inconsistencies not only in the emails they send, phone conversations, etc., but online as well such as reading their posts and threads. Given the nature of my own ordeal, it was fairly easy for him to stay consistent privately given that some private emails I have gone back through were also plagiarized. It seems the ones I did find were rip offs from NB, some word for word. So the person I admired and developed strong feelings for was not for one person but in reality for many individuals, especially one and that being NB. Even if you know O'ism well due to your own understanding and experiences, try to be mindful of what has been published by others. By reading the one your are interested in romantically and their posts and threads online, it will also give you a better idea as to who they are and what it is they truly value. If I had done this, much would have been revealed. But unfortunately I didn't because of time and not doing this was a huge mistake on my part. But hey, you live and learn. Also given this is an intellectual site and if you meet your romantic interest here or on another site, try to keep the intellectual convos going on in private as well because it will also give you much indication of who they are and their true values. In my situation, the intellectual convos tapered off within a couple of months and turned more into chit chat.

I'm not saying this to turn others off to possible connections through the internet because as you mentioned it is possible to start successful loving relationships through the internet. I'm just saying it in an attempt to let others know that there are many ways to protect yourself just in case you do run up against someone who claims to hold your same philosophy when in reality they truly don't. There's more I'd like to say but I'll leave it at this for now. Time for me is always an issue unfortunately.

Kat and Mike, I adore that you've been able to find something so special in each other and your relationship is thriving so much. You and Mike are living proof that internet relationships can happen and do, the same with Jody and his baby girl and a few others that I know as well. As for me, I'm single, Yay !!!! and not really looking, although do have an interest but nothing serious and very slowly moving. But even then it's not serious enough to be considered taken so I still consider myself single. But it seems given my track record, when I am not looking is when the love bug bites me in the ass when I'm least expecting it. LOL

Angie

[RTB]

CNA looks kind of cute. You shouldn't have much trouble.

[Ellen Stuttle]

Given the nature of my own ordeal, it was fairly easy for him to stay consistent privately given that some private emails I have gone back through were also plagiarized. It seems the ones I did find were rip offs from NB, some word for word. So the person I admired and developed strong feelings for was not for one person but in reality for many individuals, especially one and that being NB.

Oh, Angie! Ouch!! The plagiarizing in personal emails must have been bitterly painful to learn. I'm only glad that you did learn before it had gone on much further. My best wishes for a happy ending next time. ;-)

Ellen

___

[Brant Gaede]

The episode taken in its entirety is simply incredible. So much effort put out by so much nothing.

--Brant

[CNA]

CNA looks kind of cute. You shouldn't have much trouble.

Hahaha, I look kinda cute?!?! Well, thanks. I saw your post on another thread that I had started Romance Killers and will respond eventually I think. LOL Again late night and always busy doing something. Wow, to be honest, it's been a long time since I read that thread and it's rather comical re-reading it now.

[CNA]

Given the nature of my own ordeal, it was fairly easy for him to stay consistent privately given that some private emails I have gone back through were also plagiarized. It seems the ones I did find were rip offs from NB, some word for word. So the person I admired and developed strong feelings for was not for one person but in reality for many individuals, especially one and that being NB.

Oh, Angie! Ouch!! The plagiarizing in personal emails must have been bitterly painful to learn. I'm only glad that you did learn before it had gone on much further. My best wishes for a happy ending next time. ;-)

Ellen

___

Hi Ellen,

Thank you so much for the well wishing. Believe it or not, my response to it was laughter when I discovered it. I couldn't believe it but at the same time not surprised. I was reading in past emails and saw something that looked incredibly familiar to me. At first, I couldn't place where I had read it. Then it dawned on me that it was on NB's site. I went back to NB's site and found word for word what was written in the email Victor had sent to me. Amazing. Either way, there were other issues that were bearing down immensely. It would have ended eventually anyway and would have ended before things progressed too much further.

Angie

[CNA]

The episode taken in its entirety is simply incredible. So much effort put out by so much nothing.

--Brant

Wow, Brant, that's an understatement. Mind boggling that he thought he would get away with it, especially the severity it was and never thought of the consequences on him and still to this day thinks others are to blame for it and that he is not to be held accountable for it and that he doesn't deserve the judgment past upon him by so many. Even the recent crap with him which I will be talking with Mike about soon when I get more time, he thinks he is justified and the ludicrous reasons that he expressed in public, one being a public admission of guilt, which was utterly absurd and made him look like the psycho that he is. The psychological issues with him are amazing. But anyhow, very much incredible and a complete waste.

Angie