Canadian Politics: Boring beyond Belief, or just Dull and Tedious?


caroljane

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I have a few jars for sale right now. I've got the maple syrup--if anyone has the money, honey.

--Brant

pre-diabetes

Done, I will send a truck and a cheque.

Er, you know that figure in my first post was a typo right? It's #3/lb. What are a few zeros between friends eh?

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I have a few jars for sale right now. I've got the maple syrup--if anyone has the money, honey.

--Brant

pre-diabetes

Done, I will send a truck and a cheque.

Er, you know that figure in my first post was a typo right? It's #3/lb. What are a few zeros between friends eh?

CND$10,000,000/lb? Wow!

--Brant

or do the typos keep coming?

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Multiple informed sources have identified the syrup thieves as Middle Eastern with ties to the Iranian embassy.

When PM Harper was informed of this, at breakfast, he reportedly exclaimed, "That's it! This is the last straw!

They're outta here."

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  • 4 weeks later...

Prime Minister Stephen Harper has appointed Richard Wagner to the Supreme Court of Canada.

Harper, an accomplished pianist, is famous as a Beatles fan but less well known is his lifelong love of Wagner's works.

"Sometimes when I can't sleep for worrying about the pipeline and Obama, the only thing that calms me is to go down and pound out some transcriptions of Gotterdamerung", he has been reported to say, but not by anybody who agrees to be quoted.*

It is not clear if Mr. Harper, whose degree is in economics (music is an avocation)is aware that Wagner the composer is actually a dead German and not a Quebecois legalist. Informed sources cite this as an example of his successful leadership decision-making process, which is based on his personal principles and convictions, and the facts that fit them.

* Ok it was Ben but he won't corroborate because he does not want to be busted for making out with his girlfriend in the music room when everybody was supposed to be asleep.

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  • 1 month later...

Home is where they have to let you in. Thus we are graced with the presence of Lord Black of Crossharbour, ex-Canadian and convicted felon in the US, until I devoutly hope we can kick him out.

The chances of kicking him out are slight. But the reasons for kicking him out are stout. Contra Ayn Rand who chose to be an American .Black chose not to be a Canadian . He said later that he always meant to "take it back", "it" being the citizenship he gambled away in a losing game with the then Prime Minister he despised. I am sure he meant to do many things then, like stay out of prison, but no matter.

We have long memories here. He reaped the field of Canadian finance to proceed to "where the big boys play" (his words} and found that by pretending to be bigger than he was, he became small enough to be caught in his frauds.

If he wants to nestle beneath his springboard now, he will be forever interrupted by the bouncings of the Bozos in the Warehouse whom he robbed, the workers he gleefully fired , and the fellow citizens he scorned, when as now he was not worthy to be in their company.

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  • 3 months later...

"Canadian Cardinal Ouellet is a front-runner to become the next Pope"

Dear God,

Hi, it's me again from Toronto. Look, I know you are busy and all, but I have been asking You for the same thing from here for 30 years, and apparently you did hear me right. I understand, I am getting a little deaf myself. But we do not need a first-class soul-tender. I said goaltender.

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To Mrs Reimer and Mrs Scrivens:

It was just a joke, honest. Heh-heh, it is not often I get the chance for a really awful pun. I did not know you were Catholic, and I am a true fan of both your sons. The stories of how they overcame the attention deficit thing, and the manipulative behaviour of that high school girlfriend, were truly inspiring. In my day we would call that trollop a Runaround Sue.

So please, your large muscular relatives do not need to make any more friendly housecalls. I know how serious it is to hurt a mother's feelings.

Go Leafs Go.

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  • 3 weeks later...

#43

Take a look at Nazem Kadri, 3rd-generation Canadian, Lebanese descent, religion Muslim.

Look at his beautiful bareheaded mother and sisters, at his father whose family could not afford to put him in hockey as a kid, but arrived at his son's birth with a baby hockey stick.

Granddad Kadri arrived from wartorn Lebanon in the 60s, into a country that strictly respects religious and cultural diversities and protects them by law.

Tell me that multiculturalism never works.

As I write Kadri has scored a goal against New Jersey, although Leafs are down 3-1. In his last game he got his first NHL hat trick. Hockey fans check out that last goal, he disrobed the defence.

I fear we might lose tonight's game, but we are winning the war.

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Tell me that multiculturalism never works.

That would be Neil Bissoondath, in his book "Selling Illusions: the Cult of Multiculturalism in Canada" ... whose multicultural marriage includes hockey for the kids ...

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Tell me that multiculturalism never works.

That would be Neil Bissoondath, in his book "Selling Illusions: the Cult of Multiculturalism in Canada" ... whose multicultural marriage includes hockey for the kids ...

Bissoondath, like the uncle he loved to hate VS Naipaul, is an exceptionalist. I wonder if he stands by the illusions he wrote of in 1994.
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  • 2 months later...

Meanwhile, in Upper Cascadia, an election.

A Canadian election. Worse -- a British Columbian election.

The party lineup is as follows:

Liberal Party, in power since the last century, with 49 seats out of 85. Born again as the Social Credit Party self-exterminated. Not a 'liberal/progressive' party, despite the name, but the primary party that opposes the socialistic NDP...

New Democratic Party, with only three runs at government in the last hundred years (the party was birthed out of the Cooperative Commonwealth Party, itself born from the prairie dirt. 36 seats.

Conservative Party. With no current presence in the provincial Legislative Assembly, and a year of internal mayhem, stifled purges and nasty letters behind it. Led by a real character.

Green Party, a relative latecomer to politics, with zero seats but marginal chances to win in the most progressive ridings (government-worker suburbs in and near the capital VIctoria) ...

Libertarian Party. Not quite as vote-licious as the greens, but ranking number five either way. The list of 'Others' may give rise to a chortle.**

Two polls this last week showed the Liberals between six and nine percent behind the NDP.

I look forward to the departure of premier Christy Clark. She was chosen to lead her party in between elections, so this is her first chance to win on her own. My reason for wishing her departure is lack of honour. She allowed a crassly political stunt to be run from her office (ethnic outreach, fergaudsake) that contravened that loose rule of thumb: do no big-ass party deals/campaigning/expenditures on the public dime. "Mistakes were made" was the line she peddled as the scandal fumed. As that particular fuss fizzled on, her government/party slid to twenty points below the NDP in the polls. Mistakes were made. Heads will not roll. Here she is at Vaisakhi ... and at bottom her pouring coffee in a Chinese bakery, a Vancouver campaign event†.

.

I close this boring notice with a couple of links: Wikipedia's historical grid of general elections in BC (showing the birthing, waxing, and waning of the parties over time) -- and a link to 'preliminary election results' via Elections BC.

The primary value of democracy for me is found in its turnover, its dismissals and revoking of privilege: "Thank you. You lost. Clear out your desk. Bye bye." Christy Clark is probably no better and no worse than any other loser in BC politics.

Thus spake Scherk, at his most tedious.

Results will begin to come in about an hour, at 8 pm Pacific time.

I will post the results before work tomorrow, if the stars align.

_________

** [from the 'by party' tabulations page at Elections BC]

  • OTHER - Parties not listed individually are grouped in the "OTHER" category above. Advocational Party, B.C. Vision, BC Excalibur Party, BC First, BC Marijuana Party, BC Social Credit Party, British Columbia Party, Christian Heritage Party of B.C., Communist Party of BC, Helping Hand Party, The Platinum Party, Unparty: The Consensus-Building Party, Work Less Party, YPP. The "OTHER" category also includes Independent candidates and candidates with no ballot affiliation.

† This is from the Globe and Mail's auto-updated page of BC election night news ...


From earlier today: B.C Premier Christy Clark serves coffee to customers [ . . . ]



bc_elxn_20130514-13.jpg?w=620


Joe RaymentAN HOUR AGO

For the love of God, don’t tweet: Elections BC to candidates

Elections BC warns candidates: don’t tweet on election day

Tech-savvy candidates have prompted Elections BC to issue a warning that the province’s 17-year-old election law forbids Twitter and Facebook postings on voting day.

Elections BC spokesman Don Main says the agency was alerted that Liberal candidate Richard Lee, who is running in Burnaby North, had been tweeting, despite a provision in the Election Act that prohibits broadcasting or transmitting advertising on election day.



Edited by william.scherk
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Despite the polls, the lady in the sari pouring coffee pulled off a majority upset over the socialists.

The National post says it: Liberals stun pollsters, march to surprise majority victory in BC election

Boring.

Edited by william.scherk
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  • 3 weeks later...

I might have to petition for a topic name change. Two weeks and the Ford story has grown more legs than a Busby |Berkeley musical. Latest is, six of his senior staff have quit including his chief of staff, who was promptly replaced by Brother Doug's former partner in the hash-distribution business. Last seen in public handing out Rob Ford magnets at a high-profile funeral.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I have come to fear lately that I am believed to be the laziest Internet user on this or any forum.

Just so you know, Sheikh |Mohammed of Dubai looked so ridiculous in his |Ascot getup, I suspect him of being a parodist. I get around and know about these things!

I know it is not strictly Canadian politics but this is my pet thread and it is Commonwealth, sort of. and pretty boring.

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Stephen Harper walks into the Bank of Montreal.

"Hello bonjour, sir or madam. I would like to cash this cheque please - I believe this is Mr Duffy's branch?"

"Er, yes... may I see some ID sir?"

"But I'm Stephen Harper, the Prime Minister of Canada! Where are you from, anyway?"

"Uh,Dipper Harbour, N.B.-- the thing is sir, I know who you are of course, but the regulations and the bank policies, I have to have some ID. As a bank we're a private enterprise responsible to our investors-- it's not like we're a credit union or anything."

"Well, I don't seem to have any gosh-darned ID and I'm on a tight schedule --- look around, everybody here must know who I am!"

(Staff look up in blank non-recognition)

"Well sir, this is how we have solved this problem in the past, well-known people without their health cards. You see that cracked window over at the far corner? One time JP Arencibia came in without ID, and he batted a ball right into the middle of the pane. And then Phil Kessel the same thing, he put a puck into that top left-hand corner. So they proved they were who they said they were and we could cash their cheques. Now sir, if you can think of something like that, it will be my pleasure to serve you."

.

"You should get that window fixed, the duct tape is starting to give."

"Yes, they're replacing it as soon as the Canadiens leave town..."

Harper eyes the window in silence and then sighs heavily.

"Well, I can't think of one blessed thing. I could never get a puck into that corner."

"Toonies or loonies, Mr Prime Minister?"

`

"You should get that window fixed, the duct tape is starting to give

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They are saying the Alberta floods are the worst disaster in Canada since the Halifax explosion in 1917.

My son & family are still there. How they are spending their summer vacation (and incidentally my son's birthday): volunteering with the Red Cross. This is certainly a trip that will make an impression on my grandsons. Jamie (4) will remember it and Callum (1) will hear about it so regularly that he will think he does.

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