sludge7

Um, maybe I am missing something here, but I generally find that healthy people look better than unhealthy ones...

I am very reluctant to believe this. I strongly believe that people are fundamentally good, and that their ill intentions are a product of their upbringing or (mis)education. If I were to believe that people were not fundamentally good, I don't think there would be much hope for the future of the world. Sorry if I am being a bit melodramatic here... I want to be clear because I possibly didn't communicate well. I don't believe human beings are fundamentally bad. On the contrary, they are fundamentally good. This site is proof that even Objectivists are fundamentally good! What I had to accept is that all people have a negative side that pops up at times (sometimes for no reason whatsoever) and often they are so into their own little world that they don't even realize that there are others around them who do not deserve to be the butt of their negative side. Thank you for that clarification! I suppose that I often think the same way... But to further expand on what I said earlier, it's not so much people who are intentionally or otherwise trying to hurt me really that's such the problem -- it's more the people who are completely indifferent, and couldn't care if I live or die, and also don't care about the impact and result of their actions -- these are the people I am having a problem dealing with...

Wow. Firstly I would like to thank everybody who has posted here for taking the time to reply to me, and with such insight and clarity! Sorry it's taken me so long to reply -- my work doesn't involve sitting in front of a computer, so although I have looked at everybody's replies over the last week, this is the first chance I've had to sit down and property formulate my thoughts. Funnily enough, this book has been sitting on my bookshelf for years although I have never read it. It belonged to an ex-boyfriend and he left it behind when he moved out -- and I think that negative associations with him have prevented me ever taking it off the shelf! Will try to read it now and let you know what I think. Re controlling behaviours: I may be able to control my behaviour outwardly, but I have immense difficulty controlling the emotions behind it in certain instances, and that is what is causing me trouble... Barbara -- you are completely correct in saying that it is my own sense of helplessness in the face of irrationality that is causing my temper/explosions/frustration/unhappiness. And I do know that I can't make these people see reason, but I continue to find myself in situations where I have no choice but to deal with these people. It is like the scene in Atlas Shrugged where Dagny is trying to persuade Mr Mowen to manufacture switches of Rearden Metal: "...hour upon hour of speaking quietly, evenly, patiently, trying to hit the centerless target that was the person of Mr Mowen..." I have read "Objectivism and Rage," and you make some very good points which will serve me well to remember, but what does one do when the person one is trying to deal with doesn't even express an opinion? I am generally fairly good at dealing with people who have differing opinions to me; what I can't understand though is people who fail to form an opinion at all, whether through wilful refusal to do so or simply apathy and not caring. And yes, I do see that I am allowing others to cause me to behave irrationally-- and I am very unhappy about this which is why I am trying to find a solution! But although I can rationally understand that I should not allow others to make me so upset, that it is not helping me achieve my goals, that it makes me unhappy, etc., all this rational thought seems unable to actually enable me to control my emotions... I am very reluctant to believe this. I strongly believe that people are fundamentally good, and that their ill intentions are a product of their upbringing or (mis)education. If I were to believe that people were not fundamentally good, I don't think there would be much hope for the future of the world. Sorry if I am being a bit melodramatic here... I hadn't, but have just looked it up now and it looks quite interesting. Do you have any personal experience of TFT? The woman I am seeing currently is trained in Human Givens therapy -- see http://www.hgi.org.uk/ for more info. I don't know much about it (other than what I have read on the website) but she seems intelligent and to understand what I am feeling and experiencing which is more than I can say for some other people I have seen in the past. Officially Wales is not it's own country, it is part of the United Kingdom, but most Welsh people believe otherwise! Wales was conquered by England in the 16th century, and quite a large percentage of the Welsh would like their independence back.

Hi, my name is Jessica and I live on a small farm in South West Wales although I am originally from Boston/New York. I've been a fan of Ayn Rand for many many years and like to think that I live my life according to Objectivist values. Now for the personal bit and the question: I have a bit of a problem with my temper, to put it mildly, and have recently been seeing somebody for some "anger management counselling". This sounds a bit bizarre to me put down in writing like this, but I think the crux of the matter is as follows: I cannot deal with irrational people and irrationality. I have a very logical mind, and don't have any coping mechanism for dealing with the illogical. Consequently, when put in such situations where I have to deal with illogical and irrational things/people, I explode... In Atlas Shrugged, when Ayn Rand's characters are faced with an illogical world, they choose to deal with it by withdrawing from it. This of course is unfortunately not an option in real life! So how do people deal with illogical and irrational people and/or situations?