9-11 - The Other Side of Sadness


Selene

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This is a long lost decade.

" We tend to understand grief as a predictable five-stage process of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But in The Other Side of Sadness, George Bonanno shows that our conventional model discounts our capacity for resilience. In fact, he reveals that we are already hardwired to deal with our losses efficiently — not by graduating through static phases.

Weaving in explorations of mourning rituals and the universal experiences of the death of a parent or child, Bonanno examines how our inborn emotions — anger and denial, but also relief and joy — help us deal effectively with loss. And grieving goes beyond mere sadness: it can deepen interpersonal connections and often involves positive experiences. In the end, mourning is not predictable, but incredibly sophisticated."

This is a very personal time for myself and I am wondering how others are approaching this type of anniversary.

Respectfully, I would ask all who post here to try to keep world and national political memes out of this thread.

Thank you, in advance, for your anticipated cooperation.

Adam

Edited by Selene
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matt-komorowski-wide.jpg BACK IN THE GAME

MATT KOMOROWSKI

In stairwell when north tower collapsed

New York firefighter Matt Komorowski survived the north tower’s collapse with 15 others due to a staircase that withstood the fall. He keeps his helmet from that day (pictured here), still dusted with shattered concrete and drywall, in a glass case in his living room.

“It’s difficult for me to constantly look at it and not go into a downward spiral. But I feel it’s important for my own therapy to leave it there, to work through it, and to deal with that day without falling into those depths. I’ve learned to get out of them, so things are a lot better.

“I had thoughts of leaving my profession, but being a firefighter is really a part of you. I wanted to give the decision time, and after I felt mentally OK, I realized this is what I was meant to do. So yes, I had thoughts of leaving, but I’m so happy I got back on the horse.”

The original post was supposed to contain the picture of his helmet.

Edited by Selene
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file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/Allen/My%20Documents/Downloads/firemans-helmet.jpg

Edited by Selene
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Honestly, I am approaching this anniversary with much less sadness than than the first five or six 9/11 anniversaries.

It is important to remember America has gone almost a decade without another 9/11. My guess is that very few would have thought that possible that strange morning. I suppose I am finally at the point where I view the cup half full in this context, and that is something I would not have thought was possible.

Edited by PDS
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  • 3 weeks later...

America-Returns.jpg

Yo, scumbag Nanny Mayor Bloomberg! You welcomed the firefighters on 9-11.

HOW DARE YOU BAN THEM FROM THE TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY

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I remember July 4, 1976 (the bi-centennial). I was at Windows of the World restaurant in the WTC observing the tall ships in N.Y. harbor. The view was magnificent. I still can't believe the bldgs. are gone.

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Understandable.

I played chess there on two crystal clear evenings. I was on a team from my city department. It felt like you could see into tomorrow from that vantage point.

My good friend and client, Elizabeth, owned a company which provided Windows on the World with all their crystal pieces of art. Through her I met quite a few folks from their. Needless to say, we were devastated by the loss of our friends a decade ago.

Between those loses and the tremendous loses in the Fire Department, whom we are so very close to because of my father, this is an extremely difficult weekend.

Finally, however, I think we should seriously end these media re-livings of the minute by minute happenings of that savage day. As one military intelligence specialist, who writes extensively on 9-11 and its aftermath stated in an interview yesterday, "It's time to stop picking at the scab."

I agree.

Adam

we can continue to mourn without the extreme detail of that day

Edited by Selene
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In the two days that followed Pearl Harbor, Isolationism disappeared in the United States. It just vanished. In the two months following Pearl Harbor the U.S. did not need a draft to fill the ranks of the armed forces. The prevailing spirit of the nation was revenge. So I now ask where is the Revenge for 9/11. Why haven't we destroyed our enemy as thoroughly as we destroyed Japan in the Pacific War? Have we lost our guts?

Ba'al Chatzaf

Edited by BaalChatzaf
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Japan - Nation State with a homeland and large military and homeland supply lines to protect. A stationary target.

Al Qaeda - Stateless. No homeland. Small, mobile, conceptual.

Now the question of whether we have "destroyed" our "enemy" is clearly debatable. We have decimated it's leadership. The "new" head of Al Qaeda is a non-tactical "intellectual" psycho who is not liked by the remaining membership. He is isolated and ineffectual. We have not been attacked in our homeland for ten (10) years except for what could be defined as "sorties," or, raids, e.g., the Fort Hood shooter, etc.

Moreover, most of those could have been corrected with a modicum on non-political correctness policy, which is the true place where we have lost our "focus."

Therefore, we have predominantly destroyed our enemy Al-Qaeda.

My guess is that your concept of "enemy" is much larger than the attackers of a decade ago.

Adam

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[...] This is a very personal time for myself and I am wondering how others are approaching this type of anniversary.

Respectfully, I would ask all who post here to try to keep world and national political memes out of this thread.

And how are we to discuss what is, inescapably, a political act without doing so? Animadversions on mourning, as such? Where would that get us?

I notice that you've already jettisoned your own request (see #9), but I still won't be taking part.

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Greybird:

You are entitled to your perception.

# 9, cleverly followed #8. Respectfully, I responded. If you perceive that as my "jettisoning," so be it.

Clearly, I am not as perfect as you are.

From the last line of your post, am I to conclude that you would have "taken part," but for post # 9, or, you were not going to take part anyway, or you took part just to make the point that you were not taking part?

Perfection is just so confusing.

Adam

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