Well, Jeez, What do you say to such failure in life? Try and try again? Oh wait, you did that. Maybe instead of trying to go it on your own, as a graphics designer, maybe you could have gone to work for someone else to get the experience you needed to impress those in need of being so. When things started getting, funancially, out of hand maybe you could have gotten a second job. Or maybe you should try living within your means. It sounds to me like you went through life making excuses for yourself. Giving yourself more reasons to be a failure. You called yourself an Objectivist. I am insulted. This essay doesn't sound like the words of an Objectivist.